A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
drinkyoupretty
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When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:04 pm

My wedding is set for June 2010 and I'm pretty sure I know which 3 ladies I want as my bridesmaids.
But when do I pop the question???

I've been advised not to select them too early. But when is the right time?
 
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:11 pm

I asked mine straight away, however I have still not asked the Matron of Honour as I want to wait on that and have a think about it.
 
jaynage
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:25 pm

I don't think it matters, as long as you have plenty of time between then and the wedding to organise things like BM dresses, GM suits etc. Personally, I'd ask them as soon as you have decided for certain.
 
Wiz
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:30 pm

I decided pretty quickly who I wanted... I asked one pretty much straight away, 2 more at the engagement party (2 months after engagement, 18 months before the wedding) and the 4th not until about 6 months before the wedding (we had some "issues" I wanted sorted first). There's one who I wouldn't have again if I had my time over, but I asked her out of obligation anyway, so I probably would have had her even if I decided weeks before.

I would be conscious of how much you think you might be asking them to spend and their financial situations. All up my BMs paid $250, but 1 was a full-time student so it was really important that she knew early and could budget.
 
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kristal
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:32 pm

As a BM I would personally like as much notice as you can give mainly for financial reasons. Your BM's may need to start saving some dosh over the coming months in order to pay for all the things expected of them throughout the process. If you gave the notice now, they might be able to start putting a bit away each week or month ready.

I knew about a year BEFORE we got engaged who I would have in my bridal party. It was a no brainer as the four ladies I chose are the four most important in my life and were a given.
 
samanthaz
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 3:49 pm

I would hold off a month or two so you're certain that you've picked the right people (unless of course you had already decided a while ago and are certain that you want them!). I've read a few posts where girls have been excited and asked particular people to be in their bridal party only to regret it a few months down the track.
If you aks in a month or 2 it will also give the girls plenty of notice if they need to save up for their dress or anything else.
 
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mellyk83
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 3:55 pm

I would wait till you are going to look for dresses just cos so much can happen and u just can't forsee the future. I thought the 3 I had chosen nothing was gonna change well as fate had it, it has and if I could go back it wouldn't be the same but I thought it wouldn't so if I could go back I wouldn't have asked when I did
 
mandamoo
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:04 pm

I picked mine straight away. Then about 6 mths from the wedding I had to sack my sister as a BM as she was very unhelpful and being difficult so had to get someone else in to take her place. Wish I hadnt chosen my sister in the first place.
 
drinkyoupretty
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:09 pm

ouch! sack your sister? that must have been hard!

well I'm planning to have 1 of my good friends who is already being VERY helpful, my younger sister and my FSIL.
As most of the decisions are being made by myself and FH, I don't expect any fall-outs with my future bridesmaids.

Maybe I'll give it another month or so............
 
mandamoo
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:15 pm

No wasnt hard as we are not close. She even threatened me when i asked her for help to get BM that she was not going to show up at the wedding...so made it easy for me to get rid of her as a BM.

I would ask them straight away but weddings can bring out the ugliness sometimes with people
 
Secret Love
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 6:34 pm

It was very difficult for me!! Until I chose my bridesmaids I didnt really have that many close females friends.
As soon as I was engaged I chose my FH's sister, as I was closer to her and I knew she would always be around to help if I needed emotional support.
It took me over a year to choose the rest! My FH chose his GM straight away so I needed 4 to match with his. He ended up un-choosing 2 (maybe soon 3) of his GM due to falling outs, etc. So he did choose too soon. I had a secret list of about 8 girls that I wanted to choose from so I hung out with them more and got to know them a lot better. I was secretly judging them on what type of friend they would be etc. Now that I have chosen my other three I couldnt be happier! They are my best friends two from high school, and one my FH's GM's gf who is like the person who screws my head back on when I lose it.

I wouldnt be happier than the decision I made and I am glad I waited otherwise I would have chosen the wrong girls- all of which I dont speak to at all anymore!!!
 
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Neon
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:07 pm

I always knew who I wanted to be my bridesmaids. I didn't ask anyone for about two months though, because I wanted DH to decide on his groomsmen, so we could ask them all at once

(One of my bridesmaids is married to one of his groomsmen - it could have been a bit awkward if we hadn't asked them at the same time.)
 
ellejay
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:35 pm

I think that you just need to be really sure about the people you have chosen to be there for you. I made the difficult decision not to ask a good friend who i love dearly but that i knew would probably end up with the sack! I am so glad i didnt ask her even though i was torn about what to do.
 
Porcelain
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:37 pm

I picked & asked mine last month. So 4 months before our wedding 8O I wouldn't wait that long though, I unfortunately had a big decision as I had to choose 1 from 4 close friends, who thankfully understand.
 
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taralee06
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:44 pm

Porcelain wrote:
I picked & asked mine last month. So 4 months before our wedding 8O I wouldn't wait that long though, I unfortunately had a big decision as I had to choose 1 from 4 close friends, who thankfully understand.


We asked ours about 5 months out. I was sick of my mum asking me everyday if I had asked them :lol: we left it that long as we weren't 100% sure on who we were going to have.
 
Jess_S
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:28 pm

I knew exactly who I wanted from the minute FH proposed. We were overseas, so I had to wait about 4-5wks because i didn't want to ask them over the phone/email.

If I had been at home in Australia at the time we got engaged, I think i would have asked them straight away, without any waiting period :D

If you know who you want, then it is only up to you and when you think the time is right to ask them. :D
 
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emsa
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Tue Jun 16, 2009 11:33 pm

I knew who I wanted before I even got engaged. Once we were engaged I asked them about three days after the proposal.
 
Autumn2010
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Re: When to decide on bridal party?

Wed Jun 17, 2009 4:05 pm

I knew who i wanted before i got engaged, and as soon as i had the ring i rang them to tell them and dropped in the "and your one of my bms" i never actually asked them. We had in the past talked about who would be whos bridesmaids and MOHs so i didn't feel i needed to ask.
Now 1.5 years later i am trying to decide if i fire one. FH has been changing his mond constantly and i cracked it at him one day when he chamnged his mnd and told the new person they were it then changed his mind again. I have told him he is not allowed to say anything or make any announcment till about August because that is when we are hiring the suits. From then he cannot change his mind, add or subtract members from the party. Give yourself about 6 months of them knowing so they can prepare themselves financially, find a dress for them, order a dress and get help on those darn invites.
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