A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
carly_buttons
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Re: not inviting people...

Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:42 pm

I think you should just be honest? People often don't understand how much money goes into a wedding....Easier said than done, but it is what it is...sorry if that's harsh... :oops:
 
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taralee06
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Re: not inviting people...

Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:47 pm

I think being upfront and honest would be the way to go. As well as trying to explain the costs as she might not understand if she hasn't been to many weddings. I'd probably do it sooner rather then later too.

Best of luck with it
 
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Re: not inviting people...

Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:53 pm

yep I agree honesty is the best policy, im sure that they will understand if you just tell the truth, plus there is noway of being caught out telling a lie.
maybe you could organise a lunch with all the couples before the wedding as a mini celebration and every one just pay for their share.
 
MrsKo2b

Re: not inviting people...

Sat Jun 20, 2009 8:30 pm

Like the others said. Just explain to them that it's a very small wedding & hopefully they'd understand.
 
janetburgman
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Re: not inviting people...

Sat Jun 20, 2009 9:08 pm

I'm sure they will appreciate your honesty. Telling them upfront is better than not telling them at all.
 
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ali-jade
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Re: not inviting people...

Sat Jun 20, 2009 11:12 pm

I have the same issue - we're not inviting any friends at our wedding, except for those we've asked to be in our bridal party.

I felt a bit awkward telling people about our wedding plans and I still don't really talk to much about it to the girls, but everyone has been understanding and supportive. I've just told my friends that we wanted to keep the wedding really low key with just family and the bridal party.

We're going to hold a party a couple of months after our wedding where we'll invite everyone and show them the photos / video etc. The party will be a simple BBQ or hired room at a club or something like that.. Hopefully that way noone will feel too left out!
 
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D'sGirl
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Re: not inviting people...

Sun Jun 21, 2009 12:07 pm

smarsme wrote:
I would avoid telling them at your BMs baby shower, cos it might cause tension on her day (depending on how the girls take it)
But if you have to, do it at the end of the day. Perhaps pull thm aside one by on and explain that due to cost restrictions, it's just not possible to have them come to the reception, but you'd love them to still come to the ceremony, and then have them around for dinner/go out for dinner/lunch/coffee after the honeymoon to tell them what happened and show them your photos, or before the wedding so that you can have a good ol' girly catch up.


I actually think the opposite! You should tell them before the shower.....if they start asking you questions about the wedding at the shower, that will be really awkward. But I agree that you shouldn't do it at the shower.

Good luck xoxox
 
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craigs girl
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Re: not inviting people...

Sun Jun 21, 2009 12:11 pm

D'sGirl wrote:
smarsme wrote:
I would avoid telling them at your BMs baby shower, cos it might cause tension on her day (depending on how the girls take it)
But if you have to, do it at the end of the day. Perhaps pull thm aside one by on and explain that due to cost restrictions, it's just not possible to have them come to the reception, but you'd love them to still come to the ceremony, and then have them around for dinner/go out for dinner/lunch/coffee after the honeymoon to tell them what happened and show them your photos, or before the wedding so that you can have a good ol' girly catch up.


I actually think the opposite! You should tell them before the shower.....if they start asking you questions about the wedding at the shower, that will be really awkward. But I agree that you shouldn't do it at the shower.

Good luck xoxox


I agee with D's girl here. Also, if some of them react nastily, then you dont want them to take the shine off your BM's surprise baby shower. Maybe go out with them for coffee and tell them then?
 
samanthaz
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Re: not inviting people...

Sun Jun 21, 2009 12:27 pm

D'sGirl wrote:
smarsme wrote:
I would avoid telling them at your BMs baby shower, cos it might cause tension on her day (depending on how the girls take it)
But if you have to, do it at the end of the day. Perhaps pull thm aside one by on and explain that due to cost restrictions, it's just not possible to have them come to the reception, but you'd love them to still come to the ceremony, and then have them around for dinner/go out for dinner/lunch/coffee after the honeymoon to tell them what happened and show them your photos, or before the wedding so that you can have a good ol' girly catch up.


I actually think the opposite! You should tell them before the shower.....if they start asking you questions about the wedding at the shower, that will be really awkward. But I agree that you shouldn't do it at the shower.

Good luck xoxox


I agree, tell them before the shower.
 
lili 2010
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Re: not inviting people...

Sun Jun 21, 2009 5:20 pm

Put the onus on the joint decision of you and your fiancee and keep bringing it back to if money, space etc wasn't an issue you would have loved them there. Also talk about the fact that there are 5 of them, plus their partners so it does add up. Are your school friends mutual friends? If they are not friends with your partner you can say you've agreed that only family and close mutual friends are invited??.... ie your partner also has 10 school friends plus partners that he wants to invite and you've had to compromise! Tact tact tact and tread very lightly!! Good luck- I don't envy the conversation!
 
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ali-jade
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Re: not inviting people...

Sun Jun 21, 2009 7:56 pm

I agree - tread lightly, or just don't mention it at all unless someone asks!

Don't make a big deal out of it! Remember, it is your wedding and your decision regardless of how they might feel about it. I know we all want to keep our friends and loved ones happy but don't let your guilt for not inviting them take over or influence how you tell them.

With my situation, I felt that if I was really apologetic or made a fuss over the fact I wasn't inviting my friends they might have been more inclined to think I was slack or something.

So, I just haven't really told people unless they ask about the wedding. When they do ask, I just tell them the truth about the plans and say that we're keeping it all small and intimate.

Be confident and sure about your decision when you tell people - I think that will affect how people receive the news..
 
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missbexie
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Re: not inviting people...

Sun Jun 21, 2009 8:23 pm

We have the same prob!! But it's my family friends... we cannot fit or afford to invite them.
There is about 3 families that know we are getting married, and again before we knew of numbers/money we said they were invited...

If they ask my bro n SIL (they see them a bit) they r going to just say we are having probs with the guest list and money and they are not sure of who is invited yet. We possibly may be able to depending on the RSVP numbers. Have you thought that maybe some people will say no with the RSVP or are you pretty set on not inviting them?

I'd steer away from telling them at ur BM's baby shower... maybe all go out for coffee?? If they get mad, it's kinda mean cause they need to understand where you're coming from. They will be hurt but if they are close friends you shouldn't lose their friendship!
My old BF got really really mad at me when she found out she wasn't a BM and didnt talk to me for 2.5 months! I thought it was the end of us but she came round now we are good friends again, they will get over the initial hurt just like my old BF did... Hopefully!!

Best of luck darl!
 
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kristal
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Re: not inviting people...

Mon Jun 22, 2009 1:40 pm

Lizzybet wrote:
They're all coming to my house in 3 weeks for my BMs surprise baby shower, so I will be telling them then... just soooo not looking forward to doing it :(


If you explain that it is for budgeting reasons and they were good enough friends - they would understand. I know I would :D
 
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Re: not inviting people...

Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:38 am

We explained that there were so many people that we couldn't invite to the reception, that we had a home reception 2 weeks before the actual wedding for those people, and they just came to the church.
 
MrsorMs
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Re: not inviting people...

Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:51 pm

I had a similar problem - we could not afford to invite everybody. We explained it upfront and those that really wanted to attend offered to pay for themselves.
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