We went to a reception a couple years ago held in a fave local restaurant, and the restaurant was the one to recommend a limited menu, otherwise there is no way a full restaurant can all be served at once, or close to.
We had a shared tasting plate thing first, waiting for the happy couple, then choices from 2 entree, 3 main and 2 dessert choices, with nice fresh sliced bread on the table. A list was included in the invite also, with a space on the rsvp.
It worked beautifully.
I would have told FMIL I'm big enough to order my own meal. A la carte's a bit different to an asian banquet, and if it's old fashioned ideals, the senior man of the table should be ordering, not her!