Wedding Central Forum

We're having our reception at a restaurant, and they've offered to do a modified version of their normal menu, to our specifications, for us. At first I loved the idea of giving guests a chance to choose from the many lovely options the place has but now I'm worried that people will take ages to choose from a long menu! Also, my FMIL has, to me, the irritating habit when we eat out of ordering dishes for the table and then we all share, without checking if everyone is okay with this. I prefer to order my own meal and enjoy it myself, and I want my wedding to be an elegant dinner, not have plates being passed around, the table decorations being moved, etc.

So. Has anyone had a long menu at a wedding? Would you recommend for or against? My thought is if we all had a choice of 2 or 3 dishes per course it would make ordering easier and FMIL (who will be MIL by then!) won't be able to turn it into a banquet.

We are having two choices per course - choice of 2 entrees, choice of 2 mains and choice of 2 desserts. I think any more than 2 choices may have been too much, by keeping it at 2 people can probably make a fairly quick choice - chicken or beef is usually an easy choice unless you are me! If you got up to 3-4-5 choices, it would be overwhelming. I take AGES to decide what I want.
As for the sharing, I don't think you can stop your FMIL from sharing without limited the dishes. The more choices = the more chances of her influencing epople to get diff things so she can sample them. If you limit the choices, she won't have that freedom.

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I would limit the options and have a set menu!!

I'm confused.....if they've ordered what they want, why would they be passing plates around?

I think it's probably going to be the last thing on your mind on the day.

I would probably limit the menu - and not stress about the sharing... You'll be in a whole other world!

I know someone that did this and the menu was included in the invitation and guests chose their meal in advance, that way the kitchen ensured there was enough produce for each specific meal. It worked fine.

Violet Blue wrote:

We're having our reception at a restaurant, and they've offered to do a modified version of their normal menu, to our specifications, for us. At first I loved the idea of giving guests a chance to choose from the many lovely options the place has but now I'm worried that people will take ages to choose from a long menu! Also, my FMIL has, to me, the irritating habit when we eat out of ordering dishes for the table and then we all share, without checking if everyone is okay with this. I prefer to order my own meal and enjoy it myself, and I want my wedding to be an elegant dinner, not have plates being passed around, the table decorations being moved, etc.

So. Has anyone had a long menu at a wedding? Would you recommend for or against? My thought is if we all had a choice of 2 or 3 dishes per course it would make ordering easier and FMIL (who will be MIL by then!) won't be able to turn it into a banquet.

WOW! WTF? I'm sorry, but that's really weird. If someone ordered my meal i'd be upset, but if they then basically ordered it so they could try it I'd tell them to back off.

Has anyone ever said anything to your FMIL about this? Man, I'm very protective of my food and also picky eater, so if someone started to eat my food (seeing as I probably wouldn't be able to eat theirs) I'd probably slap their hand away lol.

I think it's a great idea to limit the amount of dishes available otherwise it just gets to hard and takes too long for everyone to decide. The option of asking guests to RSVP with their choice is a good one too.

I went to a wedding at a restaurant last month where we were given a choice of main. It was the first time that I have been to a wedding where that was done and I loved it. We had to choose from a beef, chicken, fish or vegetarian dish which covered all of the options.

We are having 2 entree's, 2 mains & 2 desserts - will be put down alternate on the table though. People can turn to the side if they wish and plates wont be passed all over the table.

I understand the dish sharing thing - my first encounter with it I was a little shocked though, I'd never heard of it before.

I think your FH should ask her not to do it for some sort of reason like "Violet Blue is putting lots of effort into the table decorations, so it'd be nice if we didnt risk spilling drinks or food on them" and ALSO do the RSVP select your meal thing that Christabelle suggested. I really think you should be able to have your menu, because not many places offer that and its a really nice treat to guests.

EllieGoulet wrote:

I'm confused.....if they've ordered what they want, why would they be passing plates around?

I think it's probably going to be the last thing on your mind on the day.

What happens is, instead of everyone ordering their own meal and eating it, everyone nominates a dish...but when they arrive, they're put in the centre of the table for sharing. I'm not fond of the system, I just prefer to order and eat what I want myself. I don't want the wedding dinner to work that way. Especially not if it means the flowers and centrepieces are being shoved aside to make room...

Family style meals make a lot of sense at a lot of restaurants (like Chinese or Indian) but I can't imagine how it would work with your average wedding meal - would a steak really get cut up to be shared among 5 people? If you only have 2 or 3 options available (I'm a vegetarian so would vote for at least 3 ) there won't be much sharing except people who are sitting next to each other and that happens at every wedding and not just by your FMIL, so I won't worry about it.

We went to a reception a couple years ago held in a fave local restaurant, and the restaurant was the one to recommend a limited menu, otherwise there is no way a full restaurant can all be served at once, or close to.
We had a shared tasting plate thing first, waiting for the happy couple, then choices from 2 entree, 3 main and 2 dessert choices, with nice fresh sliced bread on the table. A list was included in the invite also, with a space on the rsvp. It worked beautifully.
I would have told FMIL I'm big enough to order my own meal. A la carte's a bit different to an asian banquet, and if it's old fashioned ideals, the senior man of the table should be ordering, not her!

We've only got 17 at the wedding, so the venue can handle a modified menu. And we want to actually give the vegetarians a choice, we go vegie for weeks on end ourselves so we know what it's like being stuck with the token pumpkin ravioli as the only choice!

So far we're thinking 4 entrees and 6 mains...

We're having a 'choice menu' so our guests can choose from 3 entrees, 3 mains & 3 desserts - i like the idea of being able to choose what i eat rather than 50/50 service- but that is just me, hence why our venue really appealed to us. Any more options than that, then you start to get people deliberating & umming and arhing over what to 'order'!

As for the plate sharing... surely people wouldnt at a wedding?? It's not like you get a giant pub sized meal (or maybe you do!) that you cant get thru so share it round... I would be quite mortified if people started doing that!

Good luck with whatever you do!

I think if your guest list is that small then a long menu is fine - my initial reaction was to steer away from it purely because people would be waiting for ages for their food if the kitchen had notice ON the night, but for 17 people, why not give them the choice?
I also doubt the plate sharing thing will be an issue. My family does this in restaurants pretty regularly, but there is no way we'd do it at a WEDDING. If FMIL's habit is THAT bad then your FH should probably have a quiet word with her.

We had 6 entree and 6 main options. People didn't take long to order at all. And just let the waiter know that your FMIL is only allowed to order for herself, not the whole table.