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panda13q
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Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Sat Jul 24, 2010 12:23 pm

We have been together for almost 8 years & got Engaged recently, but decided to hold off with the party until warmer weather. Anyway we want a long engagement & will decide when we are ready for the next step. We have asked for our friends & family to contribute towards a new fridge as we don't need much in the way of things for the house. My question is, do you have to open presents in front of everyone at the party? I have one friend who always wants everything opened, even if you don't want to & are quite pushy about it. As most people are going to give money, usually what they can afford I don't want to open envelopes &/or gifts in front of others and cause any embarrassement. Plus my Fiance will not want to open them on the night as we both would prefer celebrating with friends & I'm not opening anything without him! Any advice on how to handle a pushy friend in this stituation would also be appreciated
 
jaynage
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Re: Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:36 pm

I am one of thsoe people who dislikes opening gifts in front of people because it tends to get turned into a spectacle, but if there's monetary gifts involved, it's definitely poor etiquette to be opening them in front of all the guests. Besides, it's nobody else's business how much you are given by your guests, and I'd be willing to wager that many of your guests would also not be comfortable with you opening their money envelopes in front of others.

With all this in mind, why can't you just tell your pushy friend to back off and that it would be inappropriate to be opening money gifts in front of guests? If she then suggests that you only open the non-money gifts, point out that it would be rude to open some guests' gifts and not others.

Just stand up for yourself. You have the right not to be pushed into doing something you don't want to do, and it's your party after all.
 
mllelozza
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Re: Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:59 pm

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MalinViktoria
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Re: Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Sat Jul 24, 2010 2:39 pm

I agree with this too. We were "forced" to open presents at our e-party, and I didn't like it at all. :cry: I would definitely never do it with money gifts.
 
CMK
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Re: Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Sat Jul 24, 2010 4:15 pm

We went with the 'your presence is our present' way, and asked for no gifts. People still bought gifts and we put them inside out of the way, then we opened them the next day. We didn't want to waste the evening opening gifts when we had so many friends and family to spend time with.
 
Darens Girl

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Sat Jul 24, 2010 4:21 pm

Image
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panda13q
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Re: Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Sat Jul 24, 2010 5:39 pm

Thank you all, you have all said exactly what I was thinking & its great to have it confirmed. I won't feel guilty now saying no now! Our friends & family like to give gifts at this sort of thing even if you say no - so we thought it could be a perfect opportunity to replace our 17 year old fridge! plus it's something we can share with friends when celebrating & having dinner parties.

She's very sneaky, gets a group of other friends to gang up on you & insist everytime I have a birthday event at home.

We are having a Hawaiian / Beach Theme party at home because our dogs need to be there - they will also be the only members in the 'wedding' party when we take the next step too.

:D
 
skye_mck
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Re: Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Sat Jul 24, 2010 6:26 pm

I dont know why a pushy friend would even be invited! I too think its poor etiquette and really embrassing for everyone to open gifts/cards etc infront of guests. I was asked at my e-party & said no. If you are mainly getting money, could you get a wishing well or bird cage thing & lock the latch?
 
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Karza156
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Re: Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Sun Jul 25, 2010 5:06 pm

Wow I feel bad that your friend would get a group of ppl to gang up on u! My advice would be that if you get cornered by a group like that, politely state that u and FH have agreed to open the gifts privately, then WALK AWAY. If u are not physically right in front of them, they cant keep trying to tell u what to do.
I agree thats its not a good idea to open gifts/money in front of everyone, as ppl give what they can afford and it may be embarassing/uncomfortable for those ppl who may not be financially able to give as much as others.
 
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Tarz84
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Re: Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Mon Jul 26, 2010 11:12 am

We had our e-party last weekend and I definitely don’t like opening the gifts in front of anyone. There were two 3 gifts where they guests asked if we could open them up in front of the them – 1 was due to it being a cake knife to use at the party and the other two they just like to see the reaction which I didn’t mind as we did it in the lunge room and only in front of the person who asked not everyone......
 
Bride Bec
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Re: Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Mon Jul 26, 2010 11:28 am

We choose not to open our gifts at our engagement party but had many requests from guests to do so ( HEAPS actually). We had 100+ people at our party and most of them were very generous with gifts so we didnt want to spend an hour of our party time opening gifts when we could have been socializing :D . It is a personal choice, I have been to engagements & birthdays were this was done and I wasnt offended, it was nice to see the diverse range of gifts. And it wasnt the case where people were named & shamed if they didnt buy something as spectacular as the gift before. It is a personal choice to open or not to open and no matter what you do it won't be the correct ettiquite or regardless you will offend someone if you do open or don't open :roll: :D
 
panda13q
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Re: Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Tue Jul 27, 2010 8:51 pm

Tarz84 I'm like you don't mind opening a special gift for use on the night like the cake knife. Also won't mind opening any joke presents - I'm expecting a few in return after some of the honeymoon survival kits I've given in the past which have included fluffy handcuffs! But all others I'm not going to open. the joke ones will be opened with my darling fiance, he's a bit of a prude & it's so much fun making him blush!

Thanks again to all for confiming my thoughts & making me feel a lot less guilty for saying no! 2.5 months to go to the party.
 
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Tarz84
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Re: Opening Gifts at Engagement Party

Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:57 am

panda13q wrote:
2.5 months to go to the party.


It will go so fast... I had started planning ours almost 4 months out and I blinked and it had arrived.. I actually ran out of time to do things.....
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