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springchick
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someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Mon Oct 11, 2010 9:58 pm

My fiancee's friend is pregnant and is due one month before our wedding. The couple asked us if it was ok if they could bring the newborn because she will be breastfeeding. Should I allow the baby to come? I dont want it to cry, I cannot stand screeching newborns let alone at my wedding. But if i dont, I will feel bad. My partner does not mind.
They are only invited to the reception and it may be so loud in the reception hall that we cant even hear the baby, just dont want to hear it during the speeches etc and you would think they would take the baby out of the room if it did cry.
I am not particularly close to the couple but will feel bad saying to them that they cant come because they have a baby. Also (not that I have a big ego or anything) but it is my fh and my day, I dont want ppl to go gaga over a newborn baby.
What are other people's thoughts?
 
Nikkie
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:01 pm

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Last edited by Nikkie on Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
 
emfive
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:07 pm

We had 2 newborns at our wedding and I didn't hear them all day. I know if it was me I would walk out of the room if my baby started crying. I also would never expect anyone leave their newborn at home especially being so young and needing to be fed every couple of hours. Plus you will be so busy on the day you won't even notice people going gaga over the newborn.
 
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emmylouly
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:24 pm

Yes I dont think you will notice the baby on the day even if it does scream - but in my experience the newborns scream less than the 1-2 year olds :D
 
sidonie
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:27 pm

I'm not keen on babies and toddlers but i know I have to compromise so what i'm doing is speaking to the parents and letting them know that i'm cool having them there but if the baby starts crying during important bits like speeches etc, to please use their judgment and take the baby outside.
 
KateM
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:04 pm

I can totally understand why a 1 month old canno be left with a sitter. I had a newborn at my wedding (incl ceremony) - he did get upset in teh church, but his dad took him straight out.

IMO, guests should be people that you like enough to really want at your wedding- meaning you'll risk a baby to get them there.
 
amberino21
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:33 pm

emmylouly wrote:
Yes I dont think you will notice the baby on the day even if it does scream - but in my experience the newborns scream less than the 1-2 year olds :D


agreed...IMO, newborns seem to scream (and most of the time it's not huge screams) only when they need something, not like older children who scream for attention and because they often want something. newborns are often completely breast fed, and need feeds regularly so often leaving them isn't an option unless they take a bottle and the mum has been able to express milk beforehand.

they will most likely be left in their pram, covered, hopefully asleep, for most of your reception!
 
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sandy_1902
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:36 pm

i think if you say the baby cannot come you will not get her coming either..

i personally think its a little rude to say that a 1 month old breastfeed baby cannot attend.. im sure the mother will be smart enough to either stick it on the boob or take him/her outside so it doesnt make noise.. but a 1 month old doesnt really cry unless its hungry or dirty which are both easy fixes.

I took my 10 month old to my cousins wedding.. he was breastfeed still didnt make a noise and crashed for the whole reception, most likely what the newborn will do as well maybe waking up once for a feed which i doubt you will even notice
 
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Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:38 pm

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Kt_Kat
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:20 am

We had a small baby at our reception (a few months older than 1 month), but still totally breastfed, so it was difficult to leave her with a sitter. My friends just left their toddler with a sitter and brought the baby, and I don't think I heard a peep from her all day. Most people tend to be considerate enough that if they can't settle their child (of whatever age) they take them outside, so I wouldn't worry if I were you. Pretty sure our friend's baby actually slept more than she did anything else! At 1 month old, it's unlikely the bub will do more than just snooze and feed.
 
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chelle7
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Tue Oct 12, 2010 10:09 am

I would be happy to have a newborn there. Older children, I could understand saying no.
 
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libertinewoman
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Tue Oct 12, 2010 10:21 am

We had 3 babies under 3 months, 2 under 2 and my 3 year old flower girl. The only time we heard a peep out of anyone was when the 2 week old (belonging to my photographer) started to cry as we were getting the big group shot done. Parents with young children are very mindful about how much noise they make, if the baby starts to cry someone will look after it.
Stop sweating the small stuff and focus on your wedding :)
 
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KritalJay
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Tue Oct 12, 2010 10:50 am

emfive wrote:
We had 2 newborns at our wedding and I didn't hear them all day. I know if it was me I would walk out of the room if my baby started crying. I also would never expect anyone leave their newborn at home especially being so young and needing to be fed every couple of hours. Plus you will be so busy on the day you won't even notice people going gaga over the newborn.


We were the same at our wedding. I love looking back at our wedding photos and seeing how much the babies at the wedding have grown
 
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Miss2Mrs
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:48 am

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Emma C
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Tue Oct 12, 2010 1:26 pm

We had a no children policy at our wedding, which only affected 2 couples who were quite okay with it as they liked a night away from the kids. But one of these couples had just had a new baby (about 5 weeks I think) who was breastfeeding, and we were happy to let them bring him (his mother is a wonderful woman who made sure to tell me she'd take him well away from everyone if he started to fuss). We didn't hear a peep out of him all day. I actually got to meet him for the first time just prior to the ceremony as she had arrived a little late and was at the entrance when I arrived, it was really nice. And we have a beautiful photo of him being held by his father (one of the groomsmen) that the photographer got after the ceremony.

I believe it's generally accepted that "no children" doesn't actually apply to newborns (due to breastfeeding and not really being able to leave them with someone else), so I say let them bring the baby, you probably won't hear it at all.
 
Cyn84
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Tue Oct 12, 2010 1:34 pm

We are not having children apart from my 4 younger siblings as it would have ended up being over 30 kids (well over our maximum numbers).
However we will have a 4 month old breastfed baby, It will be the first time I get to meet him and I can't wait, i'll probably go gaga more then anyone lol.

Babies that young as a rule are fairly easy to make happy, its the toddler stage thats hard (to old to quieten easily and to young to really understand).
 
leena
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:05 pm

i didnt have new borns, but i did have 10 kids at my wedding, most being under 3yrs. one was whingey at the ceremony but it definately didnt spoil the occasion. i wouldnt have even known there were any kids at the reception except when a few of then were dancing and it was the cutest thing ever.

newborns mostly just sleep anyway, so i wouldnt be bothered at all. and i really doubt that the baby would steal the show.
 
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:18 pm

A lot of brides go crazy when theyre planning their wedding so i can understand your negative thoughts on this but its totally unrealistic especially the whole issue of everyone dotting over the newborn and ignoring you.

I think it would be rude, inappropriate and a little selfish NOT to invite the newborn. Honestly its not going to be a problem and i almost guarantee you wont even notice the baby.

Some parents can be rude and selfish and oblivious of others when it comes to the noise and disruptive behaviour of their child/ren so just incase she is clueless make sure someone at her table or next to her table can politely tell her to leave the room if the baby cries during the speeches.

One other point is to take into account the whole breastfeeding in public issue. You will have to nicely tell her before the wedding that when she breastfeeds she will have to leave the reception. I wouldnt want to upset a number of my guests and make them feel uncomfortable by having someone breastfeed in public (especially while people are eating). Im surprised at the number of people that still have a really strong negative view of breastfeeding in public and that no matter how discreet the mum is these people just cant stand it.
 
sidonie
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:26 pm

When you say you're suprised...are you saying you think mums should be able to breastfeed in public and at the same time saying you would ask the mother to leave the room?

I'd be glad to be given an opportunity to show my support for my breastfeeding friends. My friend breastfed at my engagement party and anyone with newborns will know ahead of time that they are perfectly fine to breastfeed at the wedding.
 
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Re: someone wants to bring baby to my reception, yes or no?

Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:50 pm

sidonie wrote:
When you say you're suprised...are you saying you think mums should be able to breastfeed in public and at the same time saying you would ask the mother to leave the room?

I'd be glad to be given an opportunity to show my support for my breastfeeding friends. My friend breastfed at my engagement party and anyone with newborns will know ahead of time that they are perfectly fine to breastfeed at the wedding.


I personally dont have a problem with mums breastfeeding in public. Im surprised at how many people do have a problem with it and how strongly they feel about it. Knowing how strongly people feel against mums feeding in public i wouldnt want my guests to feel uncomfortable and in turn make her possibly feel uncomfortable so i would tell her to leave the reception to do it or at least let her know that there will be guests that wont like it and leave it up to her to decide where she wants to do it.
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