A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
Summer_bride
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Topic Author
Posts: 293
Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2010 3:22 pm

Bridal party..unsure?

Thu Jan 06, 2011 7:09 pm

Hey guys,

Well its now around 9months til the wedding and we still haven't decided on a birdal party - well to be precise I haven't decided. I have decided on a MOH but can't decide on two BM's i have ideas but not sure, FH has his three picked out and its just a matter of letting them know.... What sorta things do the BMs do? Has anyone else struggled to decide, Im struggling because I really dont have any close girlfriends any more :( How much longer do I realistically have to decide? Any advice would be appreciated! :idea: :idea:
 
User avatar
Abbey_Lou
♥ Mrs Trethowan ♥
♥  Mrs Trethowan ♥
Posts: 2953
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 10:19 am

Re: Bridal party..unsure?

Thu Jan 06, 2011 7:16 pm

Hmmm well from my experiences...(FH dropping his best man 3 months out from the wedding) I wouldn't stress too much at this stage... 6 months out is fine I think! BM's generally help out with the organising but that will mainly be the MOH. My BM's have helped me with the Hens night but other than that I haven't expected them to dop a whole lot else. I expect them to on the day though. If you not 100% sure maybe wait a month or so, just to be sure. But as I said, maybe I'm only saying this because we have been burned!! So long as you have a MOH you should be fine. And with reegards to BM's I would choose someone you know you will be in your life for a long time, even though they may not be your closest friend.
But don't stress, you still have plenty of time... goodluck :D
 
User avatar
future_mrs_smith
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 582
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2009 9:34 am

Re: Bridal party..unsure?

Thu Jan 06, 2011 8:35 pm

I agree, you don't have to decide right now as a lot can change in 9 months.

Also, if you are struggling to pick people, you don't have to have an even bridal party. You should have who you want there as those are the people who will be in your memories, photos and video (if you are having one) of lead up to your day and your whole day. You don't want to look back and think you just picked them to even up the numbers.
 
User avatar
Ashie
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 347
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:12 pm

Re: Bridal party..unsure?

Thu Jan 06, 2011 9:12 pm

I was a bit the same, I made decisions too soon and then things changed and it all got a bit too confusing at some point.

From the get go I had decided on my MOH (my best friend) and on a whim FH decided his groomsmen/bestmen would be one of his brothers and my two brothers, so to keep it even, I decided I'd have both my brothers girlfriends as my bridesmaids, even though we aren't that close. Well, now one of my brothers broke up with his g/f and FH has realised he's not all that close with his brother or mine and doesn't think they'd really want to be in the bridal party.

So at this point, to keep it simple (i.e. if we include one brother we have to include all) I've decided I just want to have my best friend as my MOH and I want FH to pick one of his friends to be his Best Man, and keep it simple.

You've still got 9months, and while 9months isn't long in planning terms, it's enough time in deciding these things. FH still hasn't picked *which* friend will be his best man yet. Just take your time, think about who would appreciate being up there with you on the day and who will offer you support. The main thing you want in a bridesmaid is someone who is going to be there for you, calm you when you're stressed, and psyche you up about the wedding when you're feeling down. You don't want to have just anyone with you for the sake of making up even numbers.
 
videogirlkelly
Member
Member
Posts: 37
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2009 6:07 pm

Re: Bridal party..unsure?

Fri Jan 07, 2011 10:44 am

Leave it as long as you can- you'll end up doing most of the planning yourself or with your MOH and Mum.
Things change and un-asking bridal party members in not enjoyable.
You can leave dress shopping fairly late if you're not too fussy- 9 months is a fairly long way out.
 
Autumn2010
Tiger Princess
Tiger Princess
Posts: 4901
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:11 am

Re: Bridal party..unsure?

Fri Jan 07, 2011 11:23 am

Don't stress about picking until 6 months out. I picked mine straight away and ended up having to fire one a year out because i never heard from her, DH had fired, then rehired, then fired the hired a gm.
Things do change and the people you want up there are the people that are helping you, whether they think they will be int he bridal party or not. You dont want a bm that shows no interest.
 
User avatar
chellebelle
♥ baby on board! ♥
♥ baby on board! ♥
Posts: 7610
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 10:47 pm

Re: Bridal party..unsure?

Fri Jan 07, 2011 11:33 am

The best advice I was ever given was to not choose your bridal party until 6 months out. Unfortunately, I heard this advice after I'd already chosen :lol: So I was left with a fairly last minute "firing" of my MOH and a complete reshuffle of the entire bridal party.
If you've got a MOH you're happy with, that's the biggest battle I think. The BMs don't really have much of a job, other then sharing a bit of excitement and maybe helping to plan the hen's night (which your MOH will probably do anyway). My BMs were great on the day (helping me with toilet trips, redoing my lipstick, getting people on the dance floor, etc) but they didn't really have any 'jobs' to do in the lead up.
 
Summer_bride
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Topic Author
Posts: 293
Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2010 3:22 pm

Re: Bridal party..unsure?

Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:03 pm

thanks girls, I will give it some further thought :)
 
User avatar
jasmine&paul
I survived and got married
I survived and got married
Posts: 657
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:41 pm

Re: Bridal party..unsure?

Sun Jan 09, 2011 7:50 am

When I first got engaged my recently married friend at work told me not to choose the bridal party till as late as possible. I was keen to take this advice but from the nagging of my mother asked a month later :roll: I don't regret it but there have been moments! Especially yesterday! I would say leave it until you are certain 8)
 
jas&nick4eva
Member
Member
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2011 12:58 pm

Re: Bridal party..unsure?

Wed Jan 12, 2011 11:42 pm

I have been a BM 3 times just last year, take my advice!!! WAIT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE!!!! I am now getting married myself and don't want any if them in my bridal party cause of the problems!! Trust me!! It's really common these days to have uneven numbers of bridal party anyway if your up for that??

Good luck..
GZIP: On | Load: 0.53