A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
Cimbom
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Pre-wedding nerves?

Thu Jan 13, 2011 11:12 pm

Hi all,

I was just wondering if any of you could help me out with some tips or strategies on how to deal with nerves before and on the big day? I am starting to get quite nervous and think this will only increase as the day gets closer.

Thanks :D
 
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*Riss*
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Fri Jan 14, 2011 8:04 am

I thought I would be the same but I was as calm as a cucumber the entire day! I was very surprised. Just try and relax :D :heart:
 
YUKI
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Fri Jan 14, 2011 8:55 am

Mines 7 weeks away and i'm already feeling it!
I'm trying to focus on something else... The honeymoon seems to work!
 
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chellebelle
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Fri Jan 14, 2011 8:56 am

Just soak up everything that's happening. Having your BMs/friends/family around on the day will definitely help, as will getting your hair/make up done (because it's such a distraction). You'll be so caught up in the excitement of it all that the nervousness will still be there, but in the shape of excited butterflies. When I had my one freak out (when we changed venue) I just kept repeating "We have a celebrant, everything else is just icing on the cake". Because when it comes down to it, all we need is the celebrant to marry us and everything is wonderful.
And nobody minds seeing a bride overcome with emotion anyway - I cried the whole way through the ceremony and people said it was a very sweet thing to see. And DH was visibly nervous (moreso about speaking in front of people) and people told him how cute that was.
 
jaidi13
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:25 pm

same - mine is 7 wks away and I am SO nervous. I can't sleep at night, wake up worrying about the wedding and lately I have been having nightmares about the wedding! Everything is in place and organised, so I don't know what exactly is making me feel this way :(
Hope this will wear off soon!
 
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Fri Jan 14, 2011 10:25 pm

Mine is 6 weeks away but I'm not nervous yet...

Try and relax Hun :)
 
coastcelebrant
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:09 am

It is very normal to be nervous running up to a wedding whether it is the bad dreams six weeks out or the panic attack on the evening before. My own vivid memories of the night before my wedding (many years ago) was when I woke up terrifed from a dream. It was pouring with rain and I thought I had left the window open to the room where my beautiful dress was hanging and the cat had climbed in and ripped it with his muddy paws!! Needless to say the dress was hanging beautifully when I checked!!

I guess we all think about something really major disrupting the day but those things are rare and have to be dealt with on the day - you cannot plan for them and it is not worth worrying about something that may not happen.

For most people the problems, if any, are minor. Try to get the whole occasion into perspective - you are marrying the person you love. The only real requirement for the day is that you complete the legal elements of the ceremony - everything else is icing on the cake. So it does not matter if you stumble a little over your vows or turn the wrong way to hand over your flowers, or the DJ plays the wrong tune when you enter the reception - most people wouldn't even notice and if they do they will not be concerned.

Yes there may be minor glitches on the day but they will not detract from the joy of the occasion. Just don't worry - you have made your plans, they are all in place, you have done your best. You can't be responsible for the happiness of every guest on the day or the efficiency of every service provider.

Focus on what is important - your wedding day is the first day of your marriage - maybe 50 or 60 years to look forward to together. Enjoy your day for this reason and let everyone see how happy you are, then any minor dramas will become just that!!

Best wishes
Sonia Collins
Civil Celebrant
Batemans Bay NSW
http://www.coastcelebrant.vpweb.com.au
 
Cimbom
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:00 am

Thanks Sonia. Very well said :D
 
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keluc1
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Sun Jan 16, 2011 8:53 pm

Valium and beta-blockers - would not have got by without them. I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep in the week or so leading up to the wedding, so I went and talked to my GP. Worked a treat! And the beta-blockers take the edge off the butterflies.

chellebelle wrote:
Having your BMs/friends/family around on the day will definitely help.


I knew that having my family around would stress me out, so they were all given jobs to keep them busy and away from me, and my bridesmaids ran interference. You've just gotta work out what is going to work for you!
 
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kachward
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Mon Jan 17, 2011 12:11 pm

I'm not much help as I have never been so nervous in my life. I don't even know why I was nervous but I was feeling physically ill all day right up until I got to the top of the aisle.

My only suggestion is too make the most of every single moment and really take 10 minutes out on your own to breathe.....BEFORE you get into your dress. Do it while your BM's are getting ready. It will definitely help.
 
carly_buttons
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Mon Jan 17, 2011 12:17 pm

Was is it that you are nervous about?

I was OVER excited to the point of not being able to eat in the lead up, and made sure I took some natural sleeping vitamins for a few days. Then bam, wedding day, and I could not have been more calm.

I strongly suggest some rescue remedy, it works a treat for nerves!
 
Tara14
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Mon Jan 17, 2011 2:04 pm

jaidi13 wrote:
same - mine is 7 wks away and I am SO nervous. I can't sleep at night, wake up worrying about the wedding and lately I have been having nightmares about the wedding! Everything is in place and organised, so I don't know what exactly is making me feel this way :(
Hope this will wear off soon!


I started having nightmares moths ago LOL... and I've still got around 12 weeks left! haha :D
 
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keluc1
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:49 pm

I think we need to make a distinction between nerves and anxiety. You can be nervous about something that you have to do or could go wrong. To be anxious, you just have to be anxious! There doesn’t need to be something that you are worried about or thinking will go wrong. And with a big event like a wedding, anxiety is clearly common. Its not that you are worried “oh no, what happens if the roof of the chapel falls down.” Its just that its your wedding day and it’s a big deal and that causes anxiety, to what extent of course depends of the person.

Its like when people say “so and so if suffering depression, I don’t see what they have to be depressed about”…clearly they don’t understand the nature of the illness!! (Not suggesting at all that wedding nerves are an illness!)
 
bianks
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:26 pm

I haven't even set a date yet and you guys are making me nervous just reading these posts!! I will be a wreck. Maybe some crying and illness, lol.
 
Melr
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:07 pm

im not the nervous type.. i will be anxious no doubt about that.. and i'm the emotional type too.. ( i cry in almost every movie i watch lol) so i am almost sure i will be a crying bride!
 
doje6863
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Re: Pre-wedding nerves?

Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:26 pm

I know that I want to and that I will marry himself. However, just recently Im worrying about marrying him and that our relationship will change afterwards. This isnt a band aid marriage. I've always wanted to marry him but accepted that we wouldn't marry as he is so against marriage. So as soon as he asks me, I get cold feet. Go figure!!!
I think some our fears are down to the flight or fight theory and can be attributed to adrenaline. We just need to use our anxities (?sp) in a positive way and not let them eat into our sub-concious (which clearly mine are doing :P )

It will be ok, we will go though with this marriage and we will have a great wedding day.

donna xxx
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