A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
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mrsWtobe
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 8:58 am

I don't get the black and colour rules to weddings either. The guys wear black suits so whats the difference? I wore a long red floor length gown to a black tie wedding and I got so many comments that I looked nice. I never even considered it would mean I wanted to sleep with the groom - wtf?!? haha.

As for wearing the same the colour as bridesmaids - I agree with what others have said - if you want people not to wear the same colour tell people! I went to a wedding years ago and wore a lightish pink dress - it was virtually the same as the bridesmaids! I almost died! The bride couldn't care less but I did! I went to a wedding last month and the bride ( a good friend of mine) sent around a email to all the girls saying - the bridesmaids are wearing CORAL knee length - please don't wear coral - it was great that she let everyone know. I think if its an issue for you - speak up!

As for moving seats around - I am guilty of this! But not to other tables...just around the same table :oops: At my brothers wedding...the venue got the tables all wrong - it was pretty bad. Our family (immediate) should have been on the closest table but we were the furthest away. My parents were also facing the opposite direction to the bridal table...they were facing the wall...so i took the initiative of moving mum and dad to the other side of the table facing my brother and his wife, my grandparents next to them so they weren't straining their heads because they are old and put my fi and me facing the wall. It totally sucked but there was no way I wanted my parents not facing the right direction - particularly when they contributed a lot financially to the wedding. It was bad enough being the furthest table away.

I didn't have time to change the tables....but to be honest...if I had realised sooner, I would have put the immediate family on the closet table!
 
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Balls
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:13 am

Oh I've said this one before but I'll say it again -

I think it's rude to only invite people to the ceremony and not the reception. However, if you're going to do that, at least stick around for ten minutes after the ceremony so the guests who are only attending the ceremony can congratulate you!

Also (this all happened at the same wedding) don't bring your wishing well the ceremony because not all of your guests were invited the reception! It's rude and screams gift grabbing!
 
beckstar2012
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:23 am

Some of these are really good!!

[quote="cloudie"]*That being said, if you are unhappy with where you are sitting don't take it upon yourself, when you arrive at the venue an hour earlier, to swap your place card for someone elses. I spent ages doing table arrangements, mixing up friends and ensuring people don't sit with people they don't like, for you to come in and change it.
quote]

This happened at my aunty and uncles wedding. My other uncle was in the bridal party and his wife had just given birth to their 3rd baby. When we got to the reception my aunty with the brand new baby was on a table with no-one she knew while all the other family members were seated on tables together. My aunty was furious!! It turns out that someone had moved the name-tags of my parents to another table (so my parents ended up on a table at the back not with family either). Needless to say there were some VERY unhappy people once they worked out what had happened.

Some people are just so rude!
 
April292012
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 12:00 pm

AGAPE.... I nearly died when i read you were told not to wear your dress for a wedding where you could be mistaken for a BM and secondly being told not to interact or dance with your man all night in case something thought you were a BM??!!!
That is crazy!
Seriously i think some brides put a heap of crazy rules in, just to annoy people.
Don't get me wrong i do think there are some simple basic rules people should follow, but i think it's a 2 way street.... The guests should not try to make they day about then and should not ask you to change anything about your wedding to suit them unless there is a really good reason. Secondly i don't think a wedding is an excuse for a bride to be a bridezilla and demand ridiculous rules just because she can, if she wants people going away and having nice things to say when they think back to her wedding, then you do have to consider what your guests would like/enjoy too.

while we are on the topic, and i may be the only one who feels this way and please don't attack me if i am :?
I don't get the whole BM's and GM's having to seem like a couple the whole day when they aren't? I wouldn't want to look back at my photo's and see them all holding hands or standing in pairs as if they are couples, it would be weird for me (unless of course some are couples).
In fact at my wedding because we are only having a small wedding of about 50 people and 10 of that are bridal party, i'm not even doing a big long bridal table. I am having a smaller bridal table with myself, my FH, my MOH and her hubby next to me and the best man and this partner next to my FH... The other BMS are allowed to sit at the allocated table with their partners. I wouldn't enjoy a wedding if i couldn't sit with my fiance at all for the whole evening, so i was taking that into consideration. Then there was that style wedding Agape went to, where she couldn't even dance or really been seen with her man.. That would really upset me, the only woman allowed to dance with my man is another woman lol... hmmmm..... Anyhow... thoughts? (Please be nice)
 
robbieslady
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:09 pm

The time on the invite for the ceremony isn't a suggestion. It's the time. Please be seated by this time. With your phone off!

We went to a wedding where a family came in 15 minutes late, there weren't seats in one row for all of them, so the Mother was walking up and down the aisle, placing her kids, with loud 'Excuse me's' and 'just coming through's'. When she finally sat back down with her DH, her phone started playing the Macarena! At this point the priest just stopped. He had been patient to that point. He clearly said "When you are ready, I will proceed."
I don't know whether an emergency or something prevented them being on time, but if you're going to be late for reasons out of your control, please sneak in quietly!
 
robbieslady
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:42 pm

Ashling wrote:
robbieslady wrote:
I don't know whether an emergency or something prevented them being on time, but if you're going to be late for reasons out of your control, please sneak in quietly!

And sit at the back!



And if there are no seats, stand quietly at the back, don't shove your butt in loudly in to a spot that's going to make multiple people groan! :roll:
 
lexyles
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:08 pm

:D
Last edited by lexyles on Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
 
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:37 pm

According to the Oxford English Dictionary

Etiquette is "The conventional rules of personal behaviour observed in the intercourse of polite society; the ceremonial observances prescribed by such rules."

It does not matter if I disagree with the rule, I do it (to the best of my ability) becuase it is considered polite. If I do not know what is expected at a certain event - I ask someone who does. While I am not offended by a guest wearing black - I know that my mother is and so are many other people so therefore I would not do it. My DHs family are chinese - I did my best to learn their customs and etiquette and purposely did not have white flowers because they are associated with death (despite them being extremely fashionable at the moment).

Politeness and courtesy are so lacking in the general community that if you can't act with class and decorum at a wedding then there is probably no hope, but what would I know, lets just cater to the lowest common denominator and be done with it.
 
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LittleMissBride
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:46 pm

I think that people forget a few key points about weddings

1. It is an HONOUR (not a pain in the bum, not a burden) to be invited to a wedding and it shouldn't be a big burden on you to dress appropriately as a guest

2. The bride and groom (and maybe their families in some cases) have spent a lot to make the day special so just enjoy it and don't be so critical

3. You are not automatically invited because you know someone, weddings cost a lot and so if you or your kids aren't invited it isn't because they hate you, it's probably because they can't afford to have you there.

4. Putting together a wedding isn't easy irrespective of the size or budget, it is still a lot to coordinate and organise so don't add to the stress of the bride by putting your issues on them around getting to the wedding, having something appropriate to wear, who can look after your kids etc. Those are your issues to deal with not the brides.
 
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:59 pm

Deleted!

I don't want to start an argument but I still don't agree. I can not find anything that says it is impolite to wear black to a wedding. I mean, I can find people saying it's rude but nothing to say where it is set in stone that it is rude to do it.

Once people wore black to weddings and were buried in white so obviously times have and will keep on changing. I think it's ruder to judge people for clothing choices than it is to wear a certain colour to a wedding.
 
robbieslady
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:12 pm

lexyles wrote:
Just wanted to say that I laughed when I read the 'Wear red and you want the Groom' bit. DH's sister and mum wore red to our wedding BAHAHAHA!



I have a red dress that I pull out for the cocktail weddings we get invited to...I must be looking like the town hussy if this is the case! :lol: :oops:
 
lexyles
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Wed Jan 18, 2012 8:59 pm

:D
Last edited by lexyles on Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
 
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sharmy
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:55 am

I agree just dont wear White to someone's wedding. I went to my now sister in law's wedding and my husbands ex was there with one of the children (she was a flower girl) and she was all done up and in white! Not having a dig at her well maybe a little but who wears white to the wedding when the bride and flower girl are - seriously.
 
deadlys
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Thu Jan 19, 2012 9:48 pm

Probably been done to death, but send out a damn thank you!! It's called manners. Vent over.
 
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mrsWtobe
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:00 pm

I get that cash wishing wells are quite the norm these days...AND I don't mind wells where you can put the money into a card and at least make it somewhat personal but....Please don't write on the little present card in the invite to transfer the wishing well money into an account 2 weeks prior to the wedding!!!! If you don't have enough money to pay for your wedding don't have it, but please don't expect your wedding guests to transfer the money before your even married just so you can pay a few suppliers!

8O 8O 8O 8O 8O

that is all.
 
Mjulz87
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:02 pm

I love this thread!! ...I don't have anything to add, but wanted to add that this is a great thread! thanks for sharing!! :)
 
Cimbom
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:59 pm

Don't write "no gifts" on the STD or wedding invite. It's bizarre and just draws even more attention to it than it should. If you think your guests will be inconvenienced or annoyed by any of your plans then either change them or don't pretend to care (because you don't).
 
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LittleMissBride
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Fri Jan 20, 2012 2:05 pm

Who would do that? (Ask for direct transfer 2 weeks prior)! How rude!
 
April14
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:23 am

Cimbom wrote:
Don't write "no gifts" on the STD or wedding invite. It's bizarre and just draws even more attention to it than it should. If you think your guests will be inconvenienced or annoyed by any of your plans then either change them or don't pretend to care (because you don't).


I find this really strange. What else would you say if you honestly feel uncomfortable with people getting you gifts?
 
strawberrypatch11
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Re: Wedding etiquette

Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:52 am

So many great things on here. I definitely think I wouldn't be worried what guests wore to my wedding. They can wear what they like, within reason. I couldn't ask them to not wear something. If someone turned up in the same color as the bridesmaids, I won't stress over it.
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