I have to say I like the idea and that I much prefer LIWs way of making the statement
The initial suggestion seems a bit clunky (just my opinion) in that it's longer and the statement directly contradicts the legal part of the ceremony which will have gone before it
I don't know if I'm explaining myself right .. I get that the point is that your belief contradicts the law (as does every right-thinking person in the country) but it just seems to me to be a bit odd to stand there and have the legal words said and then kind of go "oh.. by the way we don't believe that"
I think a short statement recognising the people who don't get the benefit of the law is enough .. people who know you will know your opinion on the matter anyway and I just don't think your wedding ceremony is the place to start a politicial discussion
Obviously just my opinion .. I really do like the intent behind it and hadn't actually considered this for our own ceremony but may well adapt LIWs wording now to add to ours