A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
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CountryKate
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Including statement supporting gay marriage

Tue May 01, 2012 7:47 am

As most would know a legal ceremony must include the words "Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life".

Now I have a number of gay friends so this wording doesn't sit particularly well with me. FH accepts that I am political and we have agreed that we want to include some sort of statement in our ceremony about our position on this issue.

I am thinking something like;

"Futuremrsward and mrward consider marriage to be the voluntarily union of two individuals who love and care for one another and that such a commitment should be legally recognised and accepted by society regardless of the couple's gender, race, ethnicity or religion."

Has anyone else done this or something similar?
 
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L.I.W
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Tue May 01, 2012 9:24 am

Yes we are adding somethnig as well - I don't have the exact wording here but its along the lines of 'let's take a moment to remember those in our society to whom this same right is not extended'...
 
Mrs Kylo
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Tue May 01, 2012 1:45 pm

I have to say I like the idea and that I much prefer LIWs way of making the statement

The initial suggestion seems a bit clunky (just my opinion) in that it's longer and the statement directly contradicts the legal part of the ceremony which will have gone before it

I don't know if I'm explaining myself right .. I get that the point is that your belief contradicts the law (as does every right-thinking person in the country) but it just seems to me to be a bit odd to stand there and have the legal words said and then kind of go "oh.. by the way we don't believe that"

I think a short statement recognising the people who don't get the benefit of the law is enough .. people who know you will know your opinion on the matter anyway and I just don't think your wedding ceremony is the place to start a politicial discussion

Obviously just my opinion .. I really do like the intent behind it and hadn't actually considered this for our own ceremony but may well adapt LIWs wording now to add to ours :D
 
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CountryKate
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Tue May 01, 2012 2:38 pm

I really like LIW's wording too. Might go with something along those lines. We are meeting with our celebrant on Friday so I might she what suggestions she has.
 
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noihsaf
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Tue May 01, 2012 7:15 pm

Thanks for posting that, I'm going to talk to my celebrant to get our wording changed.
 
millie
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Tue May 01, 2012 10:19 pm

Ours was really subtle. Something like 'marriage, as some people understand it, is the union between a man and a woman...' but my gay friends there noticed the difference and thanked us
 
misteri82
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Wed May 02, 2012 4:38 pm

Thanks for posting this idea. We haven't figured out our ceremony wording, but I'll definitely keep this in mind for when we do. My sister is gay and owns a house with her partner, and it just sucks she can't get married like I can.
 
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mrcm1166
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Thu May 03, 2012 11:20 am

my son is gay, we were discussing having something in our wedding vows and spoke with him about it and he said no he doesnt want our day to become about that. so we are just having our normal vows. He knows we give him 100% support and dont agree with the current legislations.
 
gettingmarried.eep
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Thu May 03, 2012 1:45 pm

just be aware the celebrant can't say the pro gay marriage statement. We found out on the day and it was too late to organise someone to say it - disappointing!
 
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Thu May 03, 2012 1:50 pm

gettingmarried.eep wrote:
just be aware the celebrant can't say the pro gay marriage statement. We found out on the day and it was too late to organise someone to say it - disappointing!


I don't think that is correct. So long as the Celebrant says the required legal wording my understanding is that anything else can be included in the ceremony.

Section 46 of the Marriage Act has the required wording. My celebrant was very happy to include the additional wording.
 
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Thu May 03, 2012 7:23 pm

Yep, that's what I thought - the celebrant has to say that particular phrase about being between a man and a woman - as per the legislation definition. But if you wanted, there would be nothing stopping you from saying something additional. To be honest, saying something like "those in society wo whom this right does not extend" seems very "political" to me for a ceremony which I view as being a personal thing relevant to the two people getting married, but I do love the fact that so many of us want to do something to recognise how unfair it is. Shame the pollies don't read this forum :roll: :roll:
 
millie
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Thu May 03, 2012 8:03 pm

Yeah I thought that was the case too but believe it or not she said it. It is very likely that I'm not actually legally married! However, I have also heard that something like 20% of all weddings are not legal because the correct wording is not said! However was there a government official from births deaths and marriages there? Hell no! Who exactly is going to know or care about the exact wording of a ceremony?!
 
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CountryKate
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Re: Including statement supporting gay marriage

Fri May 04, 2012 8:19 pm

We just met with our celebrant who it turns out has had writings published on marriage equality. She said she can definitely include something in the ceremony and suggested opening with what we consider marriage to be then having the required legal stuff then stating we hope that one day marriage equality will be achieved and we hope it occurs in the near future.
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