I haven't been on in so long given everything that has happened this last year.
I was set to get married in October last year. That all fell through, had to postpone and haven't wanted to come on here cause its been a heartbreaking ordeal.
I was certain i would never want to get married after postponing but here i am planning a wedding again
In the last year FH and i have been stronger then ever. I've always suffered with depression really badly and postponing one thing i was really looking forward to had made it worse. Then i go diagnosed with an incurable disease and a brain tumour, which was the ultimate last straw and i cancelled. (postponed) after seeing specialist and them wanting to yank tumour out i refer to her as louise lol my way of dealing with it. I have decided not to go through that ordeal well just yet any way. I am assured they are fairly positive its not cancer and well i haven't become any sicker so that's a good sign. Another reason for postponing was i didn't have a job and financially it just wasn't worth it.
However since all this things have started to look up aside from my health i now have a horse again which is doing wonders for my depression its amazing to have that special moments with my boy max (horse) and feel like nothing in the world matters but him lol (sorry FH) and just 2 weeks ago i found out i got a job just waiting on the police clearance and then i can start, its casual but its a job and its income so im soooo excited to announce i am back in full swing and planning a wedding for October next year provided FH agrees to said date. Have no idea what October means to me but i always come back to an October wedding.
Everything happens for a reason and although not all of them in my life are fair, ive learnt in my little life that there is a reason some where. and now my taste has changed alot. Although my colour scheme etc is the same but so many changes form the original plans. SO excited, sorry for the essay, vent and ramble just getting it all off my chest