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Finally something positive.

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 5:48 pm
by nikkinoo1118
I haven't been on in so long given everything that has happened this last year.
I was set to get married in October last year. That all fell through, had to postpone and haven't wanted to come on here cause its been a heartbreaking ordeal.
I was certain i would never want to get married after postponing but here i am planning a wedding again :D
In the last year FH and i have been stronger then ever. I've always suffered with depression really badly and postponing one thing i was really looking forward to had made it worse. Then i go diagnosed with an incurable disease and a brain tumour, which was the ultimate last straw and i cancelled. (postponed) after seeing specialist and them wanting to yank tumour out i refer to her as louise lol my way of dealing with it. I have decided not to go through that ordeal well just yet any way. I am assured they are fairly positive its not cancer and well i haven't become any sicker so that's a good sign. Another reason for postponing was i didn't have a job and financially it just wasn't worth it.
However since all this things have started to look up aside from my health i now have a horse again which is doing wonders for my depression its amazing to have that special moments with my boy max (horse) and feel like nothing in the world matters but him lol (sorry FH) and just 2 weeks ago i found out i got a job just waiting on the police clearance and then i can start, its casual but its a job and its income so im soooo excited to announce i am back in full swing and planning a wedding for October next year provided FH agrees to said date. Have no idea what October means to me but i always come back to an October wedding.
Everything happens for a reason and although not all of them in my life are fair, ive learnt in my little life that there is a reason some where. and now my taste has changed alot. Although my colour scheme etc is the same but so many changes form the original plans. SO excited, sorry for the essay, vent and ramble just getting it all off my chest :)

Re: Finally something positive.

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:35 pm
by mrcm1166
its great to read your post and so happy for you that you have your wonderful boy max and a new job, it really does make a huge difference.

Look forward to hearing your plans and i know what you mean about a certain month, for me it was may, have no idea why but I always went back to that month when we were picking date.......and we postponed twice so its third time lucky with this date, which is in five weeks :)

Re: Finally something positive.

Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:48 am
by nikkinoo1118
It has most certainly been hard to comprehend and deal with everything. But I'm finally getting there and have a different outlook on life :) and definitely something about horses and the soul. It's like they speak straight to it. Wouldn't trade him for the world. :) if it wasn't for him I don't think I would of held it together with the prognosis of a brain tumor. I'm 24 so have gone thru a great world of things and that on top almot broke me but here I am positive and ready To to :)
Hope ur wedding is everything u have ever wanted Hun. 5 weeks away how exciting :) xo

Re: Finally something positive.

Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:24 am
by KG'sGirl
It really sounds like things have fallen back into place for you! I'm so happy that your feeling so much more positive. I agree with the horses thing as well - spending a weekend away horse riding etc does wonders for the soul for me.

Come join us in the 2014 brides thread! I'm an October bride for next year as well.

Re: Finally something positive.

Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 11:54 am
by nikkinoo1118
Thanks guys i cant wait and i will not let anything cme between this wedding :) cant wait to incorporate max into it :) maybe thats the real reason it didnt work cause i was waiting to have him in my life so he could be part of it all. :)
what date in October? Wil def head over to the thread.
Hope i work out the significance of the month October lol. Will keep you all updated as i make the plans :)

Re: Finally something positive.

Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 2:32 am
by seaweed
We are all looking forward to sharing your plans with you. Congratulations on being so strong, I know that you don't feel as if you are but believe me a weaker person wouldn't be able to rise above the challenges your health has thrown at you.

Re: Finally something positive.

Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 9:38 am
by KG'sGirl
We are Sunday the 5th of October! I'm a bit the same I wanted an October wedding but I'm not sure why!

Re: Finally something positive.

Posted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 2:15 pm
by nikkinoo1118
KG'sGirl wrote:
We are Sunday the 5th of October! I'm a bit the same I wanted an October wedding but I'm not sure why!

Hehehe thats funny at this stage we are going the 4th :)

and thanks seaweed its been bloody hard and i still have myy bad days but determined to have more good then bad :) wedding planning keeps me occupied although its had cause its pretty much all done i just have to buy everything and ppl ae telling me to not get things so early but i dont know if i can help my self haha

Re: Finally something positive.

Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:52 am
by Annie&Pete
Horses definitely help cheering people up! I'm in the middle of selling my 5, I have been riding since I was 7 years old and it's very sad, but must be done :(
I hope all continues to go well for you :)

Re: Finally something positive.

Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2013 1:38 pm
by nikkinoo1118
Annie&Pete wrote:
Horses definitely help cheering people up! I'm in the middle of selling my 5, I have been riding since I was 7 years old and it's very sad, but must be done :(
I hope all continues to go well for you :)


Ive been around horses my whole life and then ive had a whole lot of crap happen which resulted in me leaving the horse world for years and then I got one for my birthday from my mum and best friend and now i cant imagine not having them again. Its hard having to sell them on but sometimes we have to do what we have to do :( hope one day you can get more :)