A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
Annie&Pete
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Starting off; magnitude of questions!

Mon Apr 08, 2013 8:09 am

Hello everyone! I recently (like literally 2 weeks ago) got engaged to my bffl & partner of 2 years (well officially 2, 4 if you could the beforehand stuff!)

We have already started planning our wedding & booking things because we have a time frame on having kids so it's all go go go at the moment (if I don't fall pregnant within 2.5-3 years I'm basically going to be childless) so we're opting for a September 2014 wedding (the 6th to be exact)

Here's my first set of dilemmas................

#1 venue

We have pencilled in our date at our favourite venue. It's gorgeous and they're known as the "wedding kings" around here. I looked into a leagues club for the reception venue & it's $7,000 cheaper for their gold package, where as the package at the other venue is just mid-range. $7,000 is a lot out of a budget especially when we're about to organise building our 3rd home....... What do you all recommend? The first venue really is amazing but the leagues club could look just as good - food quality is my only real worry & we're doing a taste test next week so hopefully that helps...... Help :(

#2 guests

FH's family is MASSIVE. I mean huge. There are at least 45 people coming that we don't really speak to, only when at family gatherings. We worked it out & it's approximately $6,000 cheaper to not have those people there (food, decorations for their tables, gifts, the extra invitations etc) but FH's mum will be upset if we don't invite them. It's not even really the money issue - it's more that they don't really care what we do in life & don't make an effort to talk to us or even come to our homes so........ How do I approach this subject? Have them at the engagement party & not the wedding? (So far that's $13,000 we could be saving......)

#3 bridesmaids

How normal is it to have BM's pay for their dresses? Everyone is telling me that they can pay for their dresses but I pay for hair, makeup & shoes. Does this happen often? The dresses I have picked are all definitely re-wearable, for 21sts, other weddings etc & they're approximately $250ea (the one I found & loved so far anyways) is that too much?

#4 suits

Is hiring a suit better off? FH is NOT a suit wearer, he's a tradesman and I'm lucky to see him in a button up shirt twice a year so I was thinking maybe suit hire would be the way to go. But then I felt guilty as we're paying $1,500 for my wedding dress which is custom made. And with this - do groomsmen pay for the suit hire too? I've been told it's about $150-200 including alterations.



I'm sure I'll have many, many more questions haha :)!!!!
 
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mrcm1166
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Re: Starting off; magnitude of questions!

Mon Apr 08, 2013 9:14 am

congratulations on the engagement and setting the date

1. I would do the taste testing at both venues, and really look at how they are set up, what you get for the price, the feeling of the place, can you visualise your wedding set up there and if the leagues club is all those things then go for it. If you find its the other place see if some of the things in their package are a must have or could you change things to suit you and maybe bring the price down (ie if they include chair covers, is it really something you want and would it change the costs)

2. I know this feeling, my familly last count was 80 people and thats just immediate family (parents, sisters, nieces and nephews), at each family wedding we all invite the ones that have made an impact in our lifes and thats is the reasoning we use, the ones who have always been there at the important parts of our lifes and relationship. Luckily no one gets offended as some dont speak to others etc so its not an issue though my mother still thinks everyone should be involved but respects the couples choices.

3. As a bridesmaid I have always paid for my dress, as long as other things that they are involved in arent going to put them out (travelling, costs for hens night etc) then I think most bridesmaids are happy with it but I will say when I have paid for my dress its usually been a style everyone has agreed on, if you have one style you want them to wear then normally you contribute to the costs too. That been the general rule of thumb at weddings I have been involved in.

4. with the suit, my partner is not a suit wearing type person but he bought his as it was cheaper than hiring, shop around at as prices can really change in each place, I think we paid just under $200 for his and that included the shirt, tie and belt and they had a special on at the time for the complete outfits. Again same rule of thumb as the bridesmaids dresses.

I am sure all the ladies will give you excellent advice, this is just from my personal experiences that I have had at my own weddings as well as others I have been involved in :)
 
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Teska
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Re: Starting off; magnitude of questions!

Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:31 am

#1 venue

I agree with the others to do a tasting at both venues however I am also a very strong believer in going with gut instinct. Sometimes a venue sticks out to you just because it does. Meet the staff at both, walk around, see what the fit is like. I understand that there is probably a budget you have in mind but sometimes paying that little bit extra pays off. Some venues are also very open to negotiation depending on the number of guests/your spend

#2 guests

I would sit down with FH and your mum and explain that you need to cut down on numbers. Our wedding would have been around 250-280 guests and we cut it to 150. Yes there were some hurt feelings but we explained that we had a budget to stick to and were more than happy to show them photos etc and you'd be surprised how understanding some people are when there is a budget in mind (cutting out kids also spared us roughly 15 seats). There are people that will be upset but at the end of the day, you can't please everyone, especially if you already don't speak to them. My rule is don't invite people to the engagement that you won't be inviting to the wedding because the expectation is already set.

#3 bridesmaids
I paid for all my BM dresses and they were around the $300 mark. I also paid for hair and make up because there is a lot that goes into the girls getting ready and I wasn't sure that they could ever wear their dresses again, also I wanted to do it because I asked them and they wouldn't have bought those dresses otherwise. If they're happy to do it, perhaps you can ask them their budget and work within that (this will make it harder though if you find something you LOVE and they hate because it's their money)

#4 suits
If you think FH and the boys won't put them on ever again after that day then it's probably better to hire however if you have more events coming up, sometimes it doesn't hurt to have a nice suit in their closet. DH bought his suit (very adamant about that) and chose the style for all his groomsmen. They all paid for their suits themselves because it's something they can have for any other special occasion.

I hope that helps!!!
 
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sachick90
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Re: Starting off; magnitude of questions!

Tue Apr 09, 2013 10:37 am

1) I agree with the other try having the taste testing and seeing each of the venues set up for a wedding, sometimes the cost is justified in how they present, or what they offer. If not go with your gut feeling as there is usually one you like a little bit more than the other

2) With the guests, it may be hard to cut down numbers but if you want to then you should, there is not much point in inviting people that you will never see again. I made the mistake of inviting some people and didn't hear from them at all following the wedding

3) For my wedding I only made the girls pay for their dresses, I covered everything else (shoes, hair, make-up) And this is the same for my friends weding next year, as a bridesmaid she has said we only have to pay for the dress

4) We found hiring to be better as DH never wears suits so couldnt justify buying one, especially with the look he wanted and hiring ended up working into the budget better, however this depends on what he is after I guess.

Good luck with your planning :D
 
Annie&Pete
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Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:27 am

Re: Starting off; magnitude of questions!

Mon Apr 15, 2013 10:21 am

Thanks for the replies everyone :)


After talking to all the girls they're all happy to pay for their dress and I'll pay for the rest. Their shoes they can wear basically whatever they want & hair and make-up will be paid for by me... They're happy so I'm happy :)

We still haven't had the taste test so waiting to see how that goes..........

The number issue is still up in the air - I can see where people are coming from in saying they should be invited but FH & I are paying for everything & really would like to make this wedding as cheap as possible because we have such big plans with houses etc so we're really more interested in that...........

With the suit issue - FH just has no idea so we will just wait that one out :)
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