A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

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Dandelion
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Tue May 25, 2010 10:43 am

kaywoman68 wrote:
You can buy them at Golden Plaza but no, you wouldn't get it with the kwa (atleast i didn't in my case and i wouldn't think you would anyway as it is considered undergarments in a way) if you get FH's aunt to go when she buys your tea set. The PJs is about 3/4 sleeve but I guess I can't tell cos I'm so short :lol: Happy to take a pic of myself wearing one and post tomorrow.

Re: kwa - you will find that there will be more choices getting it in Hong Kong. I bought mine straight from the store but all the embroidery on mine is hand sewn (not machine sewn).

My kwa jacket is a zip up jacket with a little hook at the top of the jacket. Can't take a pic of it now cos it's at the bridal store being dry cleaned and popped into a box. The skirt is basically this long skirt with 2 very long straps at the top of the dress (you will feel like you're wearing suspenders once it's all done up :lol: )


Thanks Kay, I'll speak to FMIL about the PJs :mrgreen: I figured that's what the case would be :) Would love a photo but only if it's not too much trouble. I'm short too, so I doubt they'd be 3/4 on me either!

If my Kwa comes from Hong Kong it will be hired. FH's relatives will bring it over to Australia when they come and take it back to Hong Kong with them when they leave. I'm a bit worried they won't have one to fit me though! I'm a size 12-14 but very curvy.

How lovely that you are keeping your Kwa boxed up like your wedding dress. I think that's really special.
 
ninja_kwan
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Tue May 25, 2010 11:04 am

hehe no worries Dandelion, felt a lot better just by asking the question. I'm just dreading another call from mum, oh well have to face the music sometime. =)

Kwa is another thing I need to look at too. Can you get affordable Kwa online? I've found a place online, but they're expensive as. I think they were charging USD800 ex shipping, so I'm thinking of wearing a Qipao instead. I'm making a trip to Hong Kong in Sept to either get a Qipao made or pick up a Kwa, if hiring is an option I might just do that.

A friend of mine will be taking me to Golden Plaza, so am really looking forward to the trip. :bdance:
 
ninja_kwan
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Tue May 25, 2010 11:52 am

Hi Kaywoman,

The wedding will be in March 2011. We're having two wedding dinners; one here, a wedding reception with friends and relos (mostly FH's) and a simpler one in hk with my relos - this created another headache, FIL wants two dinners in hk so three in total??! :e_wall:

Kaywoman, I think you're spot on with the tradition stuff - sounds exactly like what my mum wanted!! It has created a bit of arguments between me and FH, cause he's annoyed that I'm pushing him to talk to my mum with his broken Chinese... I wish Chinese (or my parents in particular) are more relax and be more like the western culture with the wedding stuff, I was told by a friend in hk that the wedding day belongs to 6 people not just the bride's or the groom's, but SIX people being both sets of parents then bride and groom!?!! 8O

Maybe FH and I should just elope and save all the hassles AND money LOL :D

More questions, can a tea ceremony for both side be held together? I'm not too keen on the whole picking up the bride and going to the groom's side tradition either...

and seating arrangements - should both sets of parents be on the bridal table or can they seat separately? As in Bridal table only seats the bridal party, my family one table and FIL on another table?
 
Dandelion
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Tue May 25, 2010 8:24 pm

ninja_kwan wrote:
I wish Chinese (or my parents in particular) are more relax and be more like the western culture with the wedding stuff, I was told by a friend in hk that the wedding day belongs to 6 people not just the bride's or the groom's, but SIX people being both sets of parents then bride and groom!?!! 8O

Maybe FH and I should just elope and save all the hassles AND money LOL :D

More questions, can a tea ceremony for both side be held together? I'm not too keen on the whole picking up the bride and going to the groom's side tradition either...

and seating arrangements - should both sets of parents be on the bridal table or can they seat separately? As in Bridal table only seats the bridal party, my family one table and FIL on another table?


Ninja - I've had the opposite! FFIL is the most laid back man on earth, he genuinely doesn't care what we do on our wedding day and isn't very traditional at all. FMIL is also pretty relaxed about it all, it's my aussie parents who were actually worse!! :lol:

For us, we are having the tea ceremony together, but it's not important to my parents so not a big problem.

And for seating, we are having a tradtional western 4-course sit-down meal, so our bridal party and us will sit at the head table, then my parents on table 1 and FH's parents on table 2 - the 2 tables in front of the bridal table.

If I get my Kwa online, I'm probably going to get it from here: http://www.oriental-cheongsam.com/canto ... -1044.html
Although I know you can get nicer ones in real life, this seems like an easy option without spending too much $$ on it.

I'm so jealous that we didn't get to go to Golden Plaza when we were in HK at Christmas time! If only I had known about it then! Somehow I don't think a rush trip to HK is on the cards before our wedding though. Will just have to leave the Hong Kong shopping in FH's aunt's capable hands! :lol:
 
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kaywoman68
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Tue May 25, 2010 9:02 pm

Dan, I think I was too excited on the Friday and Saturday 8O The Pjs are about 3/4 for me :lol:

CIMG1252_resize.JPG



Here's a pic of our wedding bedding

CIMG1258_resize.JPG
 
Dandelion
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Tue May 25, 2010 9:11 pm

Thanks for the photos Kay :) :heart:
 
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kaywoman68
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Tue May 25, 2010 9:33 pm

Sorry I look so 'not there' in the photo. I hate having photos taken. Not to mention I was trying to keep an eye on Orson (the dog in the pic) not to jump while the pic was being taken
 
Dandelion
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Tue May 25, 2010 9:35 pm

Orson is gorgeous, is he a cocker spaniel? And you take a far better photo than me!! :lol:

I told On that he will need to ask his mum to organise a set for me if we hire the kwa from HK, and all he said was "do you need it?" :roll: I think the Kwa will sit better and more comfortable if I have it on underneath?
 
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kaywoman68
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Tue May 25, 2010 9:54 pm

You will feel more comfortable with it on. I don't know about helping the kwa to sit better but if it helps the case with FH, then tell him I agree :wink: :lol: and it's part of the tradition thing too ;) Brides wear the red PJs the night before when the hair brushing thing.

And yes, Orson is a Cocker Spaniel. I have a second Cocker too - a blue roan called Oi.
 
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sallylily
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Sun May 30, 2010 11:55 am

Usually the bride would serve tea to her parents in the morning before the wedding, then the second (the real one) tea ceremony happens during the wedding or the next morning, to the groom's parents. It 's not so strict though. As long as you get the permission from both families, holding a tea ceremony for both sides won't be a problem.

and this website has some information about seating:
seating during a Chinese wedding ceremony

ninja_kwan wrote:
Hi Kaywoman,

More questions, can a tea ceremony for both side be held together? I'm not too keen on the whole picking up the bride and going to the groom's side tradition either...

and seating arrangements - should both sets of parents be on the bridal table or can they seat separately? As in Bridal table only seats the bridal party, my family one table and FIL on another table?
 
ninja_kwan
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Thu Jun 03, 2010 5:46 pm

Thanks SallyLily!!
 
Dandelion
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Wed Jun 09, 2010 11:06 pm

I'm really jumping the gun here, but does anyone know how chinese generational names work? FH and his siblings all have generational names, and as FH is the eldest grandson, we have agreed that we will try and give our kids chinese names, either as a generational name or a second middle name, or something along these lines. FH has no idea where the generational names come from, and all I can find from research is that they come from a 'poem' or similar. Anyone able to shed some light on this for us?

FMIL has agreed that it will be ok for us to do the tea ceremony AFTER the civil ceremony, but she has also said that we don't need to bother with a Kwa, as we aren't doing it traditionally anyway and they are expensive. But she was so excited when I showed her the photos, so I am wondering if I suprise her by wearing one that I organise myself. Not sure if it would be seen as a 'good' surprise or not though! I am actually excited about wearing one, the colours are so gorgeous.
 
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kaywoman68
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:45 pm

Not sure how they decide on it but I have a chinese generational name if that's what you wanna call it. Most chinese names consist of 3 characters - Last name, middle character, third character. Generally it's the middle character that's the 'generational' character. My grandma only had 2 characters - last name and 'name' I guess. I just don't know how else you can call it.

My family's last name is Ng (Dad's side)

For my grandpa and his brothers (my great uncles) - it is Ng Bing _____. My grandfather has a sister but can't remember her middle character.
For my Dad, uncle and any males on this generation level (ie. my great uncle's sons) - it's Ng Kwok ______. For my Aunt and any females on this generation level - it's Ng Yee _____
For myself and everyone else on the generation level (my cousins, great uncle's grandchildren etc), the spelling is the same in english which is Ka - so it's Ng Ka _____ but the character is written differently.

Not sure what will happen now that my grandpa passed away. He was basically the head of the family. Basically the family has gone to mush since he passed away :( I miss him and my grandma every day!!!! :(

Mum's side
I don't know about my grandparents or anything but for mum's level - she and her sisters are Koo Ying ____ and her brothers are Koo Kim _____
 
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kaywoman68
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:54 pm

I don't know how western names work but I've noticed that parents like to give their kids their name or middle name as a middle name........

For instance, my FIL's middle name is John and DH's middle name is John too.......DH tells me that it's not the reason....I think I'll ask MIL.......

My ex best friend's middle name is Jane (her mum's middle name is Jane) and her sister's name is Jane too........
 
Dandelion
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Thu Jun 10, 2010 10:09 pm

Thanks for that Kays. That is the way it is listed on FHs birth certificate, but even his parents have moved the family name to the end in the english style since they moved to Australia.
So FH's legal name is GenName GivenName FamilyName, his sister and brother are GenName GivenName EnglishName Family Name. We will most likely use this format as it is what FH has grown up with and what most of his aunts, uncles and cousins all use.

The generational name that FH, his siblings and all his paternal cousins share is 'Hung'. It is interesting how some seem to have different generational names for males to females of the line, I wonder if that is something that isn't used much anymore, as FH and his sister both have the same one?

I just want to know what our kid's would be, would be nice to know for when we are being silly talking about baby names! :lol:
 
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kaywoman68
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Thu Jun 10, 2010 11:08 pm

My brothers have FamilyName GenName GivenName EnglishName on their birth certificates etc. I have FamilyName GenName GivenName on my birth certificate. I managed to get an English name on my Australian passport (EnglishName GenName GivenName FamilyName) all those years ago and whilst it was accepted in some places, it wasn't accepted in others :? I applied for a change of name so it's all official now :)

I don't think it matters about the format as it's just the way the countries use. The english style always has the last name at the end and chinese style has the last name at the front. A last name will be a last name no matter which way it goes. My birth certificate is written in on a grid with headings etc so people can identify which is the last name and which is the given names etc. What matters is which way you want to use the "given names" - GenName GivenName first then EnglishName or the other way round.

One thing I have always hated was that all the places (schools, banks etc) seem to think GenName GivenName are two separate names when in fact it's ONE name. Would always get mail addressed to Ka Ng! 8O I tried to explain lots of times but no-one could ever get into their thick heads!!!!! :roll: There's been improvements since I did the official name change (I thought it would make things easier). But I still get bloody mail addressed to Stacey Ka Ng! GRRRRRRRRR :evil: (ie. major bank with blue background and white writing).....supposedly just cos it's two words and it's both start with a capital letter that it's two different names.......
Last edited by kaywoman68 on Thu Jun 10, 2010 11:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
 
Dandelion
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Thu Jun 10, 2010 11:47 pm

kaywoman68 wrote:

One thing I have always hated was that all the places (schools, banks etc) seem to think GenName GivenName are two separate names when in fact it's ONE name. Would always get mail addressed to Ka Ng! 8O I tried to explain lots of times but no-one could ever get into their thick heads!!!!! :roll: There's been improvements since I did the official name change (I thought it would make things easier). But I still get bloody mail addressed to Stacey Ka Ng! GRRRRRRRRR :evil: (ie. major bank with blue background and white writing).....supposedly just cos it's two words and it's both start with a capital letter that it's two different names.......


Oh, yep, FH gets this!! He is often called by his generational name only, it sounds so bizarre as it's not his name! FBIL has his generational name and his chinese name hypenated (he was born in australia) which makes more sense to people.

My birth certificate is written in on a grid with headings etc so people can identify which is the last name and which is the given names etc. What matters is which way you want to use the "given names" - GenName GivenName first then EnglishName or the other way round.

This makes a lot of sense :) FBIL mentioned that he wished his english name was the first one listed as it would stop a lot of confusion at school about his name. FH isn't too worried, but he never had an english name anyway, so it wasn't as big of a deal for him.

And FH has the same type of birth certificate, it's great! Our celebrant was worried it was going to all be in chinese, but as he was born in 1980's HK, it was obviously a british country at the time, so it's nice and clear.
 
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kaywoman68
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Fri Jun 11, 2010 7:56 pm

smarsme wrote:

KW, could you hyphenate (even though it's just one name) to stop the confusion? Or just tell them it's the Asian version of "vander(rest of surname)" or "de(rest of surname)" or "Mc(rest of surname)"


That would be giving in!!!! How hard can it be to get into their thick heads that two words can make up to be one name...........anyway, my birth certificate doesn't have a hyphen in it.
 
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lolli
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Sun Jun 13, 2010 1:11 am

Dandelion wrote:
FMIL has agreed that it will be ok for us to do the tea ceremony AFTER the civil ceremony, but she has also said that we don't need to bother with a Kwa, as we aren't doing it traditionally anyway and they are expensive. But she was so excited when I showed her the photos, so I am wondering if I suprise her by wearing one that I organise myself. Not sure if it would be seen as a 'good' surprise or not though! I am actually excited about wearing one, the colours are so gorgeous.


I'm glad the tea ceremony issue has worked out for you Dandelion. It's so nice of your FMIL to be so understanding, but I think she'd really appreciate it too if you do decide to surprise her on the day. My Dad was actually really pleasantly surprised (and touched I think :P) when I told him I'd wear a kwah for the tea ceremony (having grown up here he thought I'd have no interest in the traditional things). I know it means a lot to him but I'm also doing it coz it's so special to acknowledge your culture heritage on such an important day I think (plus which bride can resist a totally valid reason to wear another beautiful dress? :wink: )

Previously I also shared your dilemma of trying to incorporate two opposing cultures into the pre-civil ceremony proceedings. Now FH is going to pick me up from my parents and I'll give tea in my kwah. Then we'll head to the chapel together where I'll change into my wedding dress. So as I step into the chapel it'd still be the "first" time FH sees me (in traditional white). Actually my dress is not exactly white but you get the idea :P

Due to time constraints we can't afford to travel to FIL's for the 2nd tea ceremony, but they're really flexible and are happy to do the whole tea thing after we've had our civil ceremony.
 
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lolli
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Re: Chinese Weddings

Sun Jun 13, 2010 1:13 am

Dandelion wrote:
Here's my question - where do I get the 'pajamas' that I wear under my kwa? As far as I can tell they are generally red silk tops/pants with 3/4 sleeves and 3/4 length pants, does this sound right? I'm assuming I won't get them with my Kwa?


I actually got my pyjamas for free with the kwah purchase. Mine look very similar to Kay's except it's baby pink - my fav colour. :wink: The kwah shop lady said I could get away with another shade as long as it's still in the red colour family. I went with my aunts and they haggled for me to get the PJ's for free and get discounts on matching shoes, teapot set, red signing silk & red packets. If you get more things from them you can probably get the PJ's for free too.


Dandelion wrote:
If my Kwa comes from Hong Kong it will be hired. FH's relatives will bring it over to Australia when they come and take it back to Hong Kong with them when they leave. I'm a bit worried they won't have one to fit me though! I'm a size 12-14 but very curvy.


I was originally thinking of doing the same thing - getting my HK rellies to hire it, bring it over and return it when they fly home, but then I found out it'd only cost AUD150 more to buy near-new ex-rental stock, which would save the trouble of bringing it back and forth, and my sis could probably inherit it when she gets married. Keep in mind that most kwah's are hired out in 3-day blocks so your might have to pay double or triple for extended hire.

Acutally kwah's are designed to be loose fitting and many shops carry larger sizes. My friend is size 14-16 but still managed to find a very nice kwah in Golden Plaza.
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