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miss_summer
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Choosing a Wedding Dress is giving me panic attacks

Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:26 pm

So I was looking for some reassurance, because I am two weeks out from having to choose my wedding dress and the thought of making a decision is giving me anxiety attacks. My Mum will be in town and the only other time she will be here between now the the big day, is less that 6 months from the wedding, which as anyone who has been wedding dress shopping can tell you is the latest you can order your dress.

I REALLY want for her to be apart of the choosing process- for reasons outside of anyone's control she wasn't able to be there for any of my other big moments where girls bond with their Mum's due to us living far far away (I went to boarding school, it was the only way I could get an education, but it means I left home at 11). So I need to pick a dress when she's there.

But, it's not happening, I start looking with my BMs so we'd have a narrowed down selection to show her, and while I have liked dresses, I haven't loved one, haven't felt like the prettiest girl in the room and ANYTHING I have tried on more that once I liked it less the 2nd time. It's getting to the point where I am starting to stress about it.

Every other wedding decision has been so easy, I have had an emotional reaction (e.g. we only met with one photographer and I KNEW this is the woman I want around me on the day, FH and I chose out wedders in about 15 mins, and when we stood in the church where we are going to say those all important vows I got this sense of peace and happiness I have never felt before), but the dress is just not happening, I can't even pick a style (I like ballgown and mermaid because they are so freakin' similar).

Does ANYONE have any advice or can they share a similar story? I really want to be able to have this moment with my Mum, but if I like each dress less when I put it on, I don't want to hate it by the time I get to the alter.
 
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L.I.W
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Re: Choosing a Wedding Dress is giving me panic attacks

Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:02 pm

Dont put too much pressure on yourself to have a 'Say Yes To The Dress' moment - I personally never had a 'OMG This is IT" moment but I was perfectly happy with my gown and there was nothing I would change.

Once you have a gown that you like, that you would not change anything about and that fits your budget consider carefully whether its the dress or not. Unfortunately its not all fireworks and butterflies, many girls do not have a special moment, and if you do not do not worry about it, at the end of the day its an important garment but the most important thing is marrying your fiance and enjoying the day with your family and friends.
 
miss_summer
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Re: Choosing a Wedding Dress is giving me panic attacks

Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:48 pm

Lawwa wrote:
Don't put too much pressure on yourself, hun x Do you have a style of dress in mind and been trying on those specifically?


Part of the problem is I have liked dresses in all styles, it really depends on my mood. I think if I had to pick one gun to my head I would go with a ball gown, just because when else can you, but then I worry I am going to regret not choosing something elegant and understated as there is also a sheath dress in lace I have tried on that is really simple and pretty.

I am resigned to the fact I am not going to have a "moment" but I am really worried that every time I try on a dress a second time I like it less than the 2nd time round.
 
Niccles
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Re: Choosing a Wedding Dress is giving me panic attacks

Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:26 pm

miss_summer wrote:
So I was looking for some reassurance, because I am two weeks out from having to choose my wedding dress and the thought of making a decision is giving me anxiety attacks. My Mum will be in town and the only other time she will be here between now the the big day, is less that 6 months from the wedding, which as anyone who has been wedding dress shopping can tell you is the latest you can order your dress.


Calm down. I'm getting hitched in May and I still have time. Everyone we've spoken to about the time frame have said that wont be an issue. Mum and I are going out tomorrow, see how I go. I only just changed my mind last week and have an idea what I want. Haven't once had an emotional attachment, or anything. It's a dress. It's one day. You'll find something you love and you'll look amazing :)
 
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L.I.W
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Re: Choosing a Wedding Dress is giving me panic attacks

Mon Jan 14, 2013 11:18 pm

Niccles wrote:
miss_summer wrote:
So I was looking for some reassurance, because I am two weeks out from having to choose my wedding dress and the thought of making a decision is giving me anxiety attacks. My Mum will be in town and the only other time she will be here between now the the big day, is less that 6 months from the wedding, which as anyone who has been wedding dress shopping can tell you is the latest you can order your dress.


Calm down. I'm getting hitched in May and I still have time. Everyone we've spoken to about the time frame have said that wont be an issue. Mum and I are going out tomorrow, see how I go. I only just changed my mind last week and have an idea what I want. Haven't once had an emotional attachment, or anything. It's a dress. It's one day. You'll find something you love and you'll look amazing :)


Gosh you are lucky - if I had a bride in with a May date I could meet it. So long as she ordered before Thursday this week and paid a rush fee. You must be looking at very quick designers!
 
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Re: Choosing a Wedding Dress is giving me panic attacks

Tue Jan 15, 2013 8:29 am

First of all *big hugs*

Second of all - you're definitely not alone. I'm stressing out about finding a dress, nothing I look at really seems to suit me and I feel more depressed than anything when I go into stores to try on something - hence me shopping online. I'm at the point where I don't give a damn anymore. I could go nude for all I care.

Third of all - Wear something that suits what you would usually wear and that you will feel comfortable in knowing that it's at least 'you'. If you like wearing maxi dresses that are empire lined, try something like that. If you like wearing shorter dresses then there's nothing that says you can't wear something tea-length or knee length. If you're more of a pants kinda girl, maybe you could think about wearing a pant suit? At this point because I'm that over it and I just want to get something, I'm thinking I might just wear something that suits my regular style - so for me that's an empire lined maxi dress. At my first wedding I bought about 4 dresses, none of which suited me, and it turns out - I hated what I wore on my wedding day, and I hated what I wore to the reception. I felt that neither of them suited me at all. As much as I fantasise about wearing an a-line ball gown to my wedding, I don't think I will because it's not so much me as the pressure for tradition on me.
 
Niccles
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Re: Choosing a Wedding Dress is giving me panic attacks

Tue Jan 15, 2013 2:46 pm

L.I.W wrote:
Niccles wrote:
miss_summer wrote:
So I was looking for some reassurance, because I am two weeks out from having to choose my wedding dress and the thought of making a decision is giving me anxiety attacks. My Mum will be in town and the only other time she will be here between now the the big day, is less that 6 months from the wedding, which as anyone who has been wedding dress shopping can tell you is the latest you can order your dress.


Calm down. I'm getting hitched in May and I still have time. Everyone we've spoken to about the time frame have said that wont be an issue. Mum and I are going out tomorrow, see how I go. I only just changed my mind last week and have an idea what I want. Haven't once had an emotional attachment, or anything. It's a dress. It's one day. You'll find something you love and you'll look amazing :)


Gosh you are lucky - if I had a bride in with a May date I could meet it. So long as she ordered before Thursday this week and paid a rush fee. You must be looking at very quick designers!


We bought it today. Didn't have time to order it. So floor stock, cheaper and done! Have enough time for alterations and I'm set. Honestly nobody really seemed to think the date was an issue, I just had to get floor stock which I had no problem with.
 
snoopkat
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Re: Choosing a Wedding Dress is giving me panic attacks

Wed Jan 16, 2013 1:17 pm

Don't worry too much hon, not everybody gets the 'ah ha!' moment (I didn't) and that's ok. I blame shows like Say Yes To The Dress and Hollywood movies for setting this expectation that we MUST cry when we see the perfect dress otherwise it can't possibly be perfect.

Maybe have a think about the style of dresses you normally wear and go from there? Of you have a theme for your wedding (contemporary, traditional etc etc) you can use that as a yardstick when selecting your dress.

Once you stop overthinking it, you'll find the right dress :)
 
miss_summer
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Re: Choosing a Wedding Dress is giving me panic attacks

Wed Jan 16, 2013 8:25 pm

Hi Ladies,

Thanks for the encouraging words. I don't expect myself to cry or anything like that, but I just kind of feel that to spend that much money on 1 dress I should love the dress, not just tolerate it.

I am also concerned that I like the dresses less the second time I try them on. I have come close to loving a dress, but then when I go back to revisit it, I have a "huh, what was I thinking" moment. I have over 11 months still to go to my wedding I don't want to get to a couple of months out and have changed my mind completely!

Has anyone bought a dress and regretted it?
 
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mrcm1166
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Re: Choosing a Wedding Dress is giving me panic attacks

Sun Jan 20, 2013 11:27 am

had a lot of issues with picking my dress, all from dressmakers demanding I order it now or else to finally trying on the dress I thought I wanted only for it to look horrible on me and I hated it.

I didnt want a traditional dress (2nd time marriage) but got talked into trying on all the normal white fluffy wedding dresses and would feel depressed thinking this is not how I imagined myself walking down the aisle on my wedding day.

in the end I tried on bridesmaids dresses and found the one I want.

so my advice, keep an open mind, try on dresses you wouldnt of thought of before because that may be where the dress you love is hiding.

Good luck :D
 
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Re: Choosing a Wedding Dress is giving me panic attacks

Thu Feb 14, 2013 9:14 pm

You're not alone, I'm feeling the same. I recently visited a store that was having a one day sale (or so they said) & in the heat of the moment paid for a floor stock dress in full. I spent about 3 hours in the shop trying to make my decision & ended up paying for the skirt to be completely altered. I felt uneasy almost straight away & have spent the last month losing sleep & stressing over the damn dress. I did call the shop to try & get a refund a few days after I paid for the dress but the response I got was basically too bad so sad.

I actually went in to another store today & tried on another dress, It was like a breath of fresh air. I was so excited & so happy in this particular dress that I have decided I will sell the first dress & go with another. Whether or not the dress I tried today is "the one" it was nice to feel happy again.

I'm sure you will find something you love eventually, good luck :)
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