Ok I have a few opinions on this post
they live other sides of Australia from each other which makes suits, shoes, rehearsals, difficult and expensive.
Most Bridal Parties are happy to contribute financially when it comes to their attire so he may be willing to pay for himself and so long as you give them plenty of notice I am sure they can find the time for the rehearsal, one of my bridesmaids are flying in from London.
To make matters more awkward.... I have 3 Bridesmaids and 2 Groomsman so uneven numbers.... as we have chosen who WE want on the bridal party regardless of family ties.
I do not believe even numbers are important for a bridal party, it is your wedding and if you want uneven number then its your choice
What can we say to him to calm the situation only 5 weeks out from out wedding?
The groomsmen choice is up to your FH so it’s up to him to speak with his brother on why he did not ask him, I think you get an easy out here and can handball this to your FH
His brother is also a heavy smoker and (due to drug use) has a really short fuse and is impatient (which concerns me for the photos). Recently he has had a skin reaction to a chemical he uses at work so the skin on his face, neck and arms is peeling and looks like peeling sunburn.
This point I find a bit artificial, you shouldn’t not have someone in your wedding party because they won’t look pretty in your photos., whether he is in the bridal party or not you generally have photos done with family members and the fact that he smokes wouldn’t matter either, again I have a smoker in my bridal party but I am sure she wont light up mid photo.
Its 5 weeks until your wedding so I wouldn’t worry too much, he isn’t a groomsmen because your FH didn’t want him to be one, If his feelings are hurt then maybe you can incorporate him into the wedding another way like having him be one of your two witnesses?