A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
jane1082
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How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:16 am

We are having our wedding over in NZ and are not inviting children, mauinly becaue the venue isn't overly big and we already have 120 guests invited, also if all the children came there would be more children than adults!

This is going to be an issue for those people living in NZ, and most of our guests over here have already arranged their parents to look after them, all the children are no longer babies.

The thing is we have just had a message from a friend who tells us he is booking his flights today and they are going to make a holiday out of it with the kids. Obviously if they book and dont have anyone to look after the kids we aren't going to tell them not to come, but I would have thought they would double check with us about kids first, considering we have spoken about it already. Is there anyway we can tell them politely that we aren't catering for children???

I hate this awkward kind of stuff :?
 
Illikaeri
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 10:38 am

I am in the exact same boat! Living in QLD but getting married in WA (my home state). All of FH's siblings have children, and when informed it would be in WA, all excitedly said they would make a holiday out of it. FMIL is the main babysitter when anyone wants to do something without children, but she's coming along as well. FH's siblings could very well use their in-laws to babysit (and have done so in the past for other people's weddings), but no, we want to make a holiday out of it.

Mind you, while complaining about how much it's going to cost them... Well don't bring the kids! They have options!

My reception venue does cater for children, but I'd honestly prefer not to have them there. I don't want to hear "sit down and eat your food" all night - because that's what it is like at any other family event. I don't think a year is going to make much difference! But alas, I just have to force a smile because "there's nobody else to babysit them". And I'm sure the hotels they will stay at have babysitting services, but if I mention that I'll get ranted at for the next half year about how dangerous it is.
 
jane1082
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 3:25 pm

I do agree that it is a big ask to expect people to travel without their children, and that is why I am starting to feel guilty about it. To be honest there are only a couple of families that this really affects. I guess I suggest to this couple that we have not catered for children, however suggest a few places that provide babysitting services, and they can choose to stay there if they like.

It's just a tricky one, it seems things to seem to be a bit more tricky when getting married overseas, just part of it I guess.
 
jane1082
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 3:37 pm

Just another thing... I don't have children so I cannot make any judgement or assume things. But those of you that do, would you consider leaving your children with a babysitting service at the motel??? Our venue is about a 10 - 15minute drive away from the area where people are staying.

I'm not sure now wheather I should have specifically mentioned the babysitting services at the various motels when I sent all the links through...? The ones that do, clearly state babysitting/nanny service.
 
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EmmaCupcake
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 4:04 pm

I don't have kids, but I guess leaving my kids with a nanny at the motel would depend on their age. If I had any children under 5 I would rather there be someone on site to look after them since I have travelled overseas to attend, as I would probably be a little uncomfortable about leaving my kids at the motel with a nanny in a country I may not have been to before.

That being said, I've had to imagine this whole situation in a country other than NZ since I know I have people there who can look after my imaginary kids.

Where abouts in NZ are you getting married?
 
jane1082
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 5:25 pm

We are getting married on the Hibiscus Coast, I was even thinking about asking my younger sister, who is mid twenty's if she has any friends that may be interested in baby sitting. Now I don't know what to do in the way of the guests, at this stage none have said they aren't coming due to the kids, apart from maybe one couple, there are only about 5 couples with kids anyway.
 
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EmmaCupcake
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 5:44 pm

I lived there for 9 years and never heard of that place haha.
If you can get someone who knows your family that would probably be more appealing to friends :)
 
jane1082
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 6:07 pm

Oh Really? :) Its about 40 minutes north of Auckland. Yeah I should try that out I guess, just wonder if it is too late now though, guess it is never too late!
 
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EmmaCupcake
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:33 pm

I ended up asking mum and she had no clue either......turns out we had been that way sooooooo many times, even just passing through to Whangarei :lol:
 
jane1082
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 9:12 pm

Haha! Does Orewa ring a bell?? Whangaparaoa...? Silverdale...? :)
 
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EmmaCupcake
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 9:18 pm

Yep, mum mentioned Orewa and Waiwera, automatically clicked. Funny how I was thinking about the playground near the beach in Orewa earlier today haha.

I'm going to stop turning this into a casual chat before I get this locked :lol:
 
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Wand33
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Thu Aug 16, 2012 10:49 pm

I wouldnt ask a family member, as then they'd have to babysit instead of attend your wedding?

As for politely telling them the kids arent catered for, just mention would they "like you to suggest a babysitter for the evening of the wedding?"
 
jane1082
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Fri Aug 17, 2012 4:53 pm

No I wouldn't ask a family member either, but thought of asking my sister if any of her friends (that aren't invited to the wedding) would be interested. In the end we have just sent a message back to this particular person, asking what they had thought of doing in the way of childcare for their two children? My FH mentioned to him that I have double checked with the accommodation (links they were sent a few months ago) and these particular places do infact offer childcare. No more we can do I don't think.
 
Illikaeri
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Re: How to politely tell people...

Sat Aug 18, 2012 12:10 am

Considering that the people we have invited who do have children have travelled away for other weddings and left the children with in-laws, then by all means I do feel that I should be able to say no children. If it's okay to be childless at everyone elses' wedding, why not mine.
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