Wedding Central Forum

Kids or No Kids? Kids at the ceremony? Kids at the reception? We are not planning to invite any children to our wedding reception except of my FH's nephew who is 3 and will be part of the wedding. I understand that I really can't stop kids coming to the ceremony but to be honest I would prefer not to have any really young children there. Has anyone had any experiences with wedding guests who have been annoyed because their kids weren't invited? My brother got married last year and he had one half of a couple he invited not come to the wedding because they stayed at home to watch the kids.

Its a hard question. As much as I don't want feral kids I don't really know running around at my wedding, if I was to have kids and be invited to a wedding (especially a family member) I probably wouldn't go unless I had someone to look after the kids.

I had some young cousins at my wedding and because they have decent parents who were respectful of the occasion and supervised them properly it wasn't a problem - and I knew that would be the case so I was happy to have them there. If I was worried about kids running around with no supervision while their parents sat and got drunk or something I just wouldn't invite the kids. Simple as that - I wouldn't want that at my wedding.

So I guess for me it depends on how responsible the parents are.

Its a tough decision.

We decided against children, as they just dont understand what the day is about, and get quite restless and tired.
Another deciding factor was the extra cost for kids attending, and we could only invite so many guests due to the reception venue size.

Our guests all respect our decision, as we do theirs if they choose not to attend due to this.

However majority of the guests are looking forward to having a kid free night.

Goodluck with your decision

KezMick wrote:

I understand that I really can't stop kids coming to the ceremony but to be honest I would prefer not to have any really young children there.

what? that's news to me, of course you can stop them from coming. It's your wedding and if you don't want kids there just say so. Making an exception for family is different then allowing everyone to bring their kids. I have not invited any friends kids but am having the dilemma at the moment if I should let my sister bring her baby.

I think it's generally childless couples that prefer no kids at their wedding and it's fair enough, I'm having a late afternoon/night wedding and a cocktail theme so it really isn't kid friendly anyway.

We are having no Kids either. By any means they are more then welcome to the Church but not invited to the Reception. It is extremely expensive and I dont want any kids running around the dance floor. When we decide to have children and they are not invited to a Wedding I will totally understand as I no where they are coming from.

Good Luck in your decision. xxx

Agape wrote:

However I really think this needs to be a blanket rule. Right now I am disgusted in my FSIL (FH's sister) who has NOT invited my children (they are not FH's children) to her upcoming wedding, however she has invited cousin's children (who are both younger and older than my kids) and friends' kids. It seems that most children are invited except mine. FH is in the bridal party, but I am very tempted to say I am not attending (however with all the issues within the family, this will look extremely bad on me).

I agree that is bad, your kids are her nieces/nephews in law. What do you think about the fact FH daughter will attend and possibly my baby niece but we have not invited any other children? is it ok to to have different rules for family?

Agape wrote:

This is something I feel very strong about ... I am a mother of 3 children, and I don't like taking my children to weddings. My kids are 12yrs, 11yrs and 5yrs and generally well behaved (especially the older 2). But weddings are just long BORING days for them.

Think of it from a child's perspective ...
-you have to sit thru the long boring church ceremony, can't talk, can't move
-then there is the photo shoot between the ceremony, the parents really should spend this time letting the kids rest before the big night, but most kids want to run around because they have been expected to be quiet and sit still thru the ceremony for so long
-then there is the start of the reception, which means standing around int he foyer (again boring for kids)
-sitting at tables and waiting for your food, which is generally served a LOT later than most normal families would eat (meaning hungry and restless kids)
-sitting thru speeches (again sitting still, no talking)
-until FINALLY they get to get up and dance, however by this stage it is generally past most kids bedtimes

However I really think this needs to be a blanket rule. Right now I am disgusted in my FSIL (FH's sister) who has NOT invited my children (they are not FH's children) to her upcoming wedding, however she has invited cousin's children (who are both younger and older than my kids) and friends' kids. It seems that most children are invited except mine. FH is in the bridal party, but I am very tempted to say I am not attending (however with all the issues within the family, this will look extremely bad on me).

I absolutely agree with all of this. Its such a long day for a child of any age that I think the kids would actually prefer to be left at home with a babysitter.

In the case of your FSIL though, you can't invite one person's kid and not another! There needs to be a blanket rule across all persons invited, either you invite all kids or you don't.

We didn't have kids at ours. Fortunately not alot of friends or family had children so it wasn't an issue but I probably still wouldn't have kids if I were to get married again today.

Personally I don't want kids at our wedding but when it's our wedding day, my FH's brother will have 3 and 4yo and FH's sister will have a 2yo. They're travelling from interstate and I don't expect them to leave their kids behind. On my side of the family there will be a 15yo and 13yo. My FH agreed that we'd only have kids of the families invited but at this stage, there is 3 other families with kids. My bridesmaid will have a 1.5yo, but has a husband who will take the bub away as soon as it (don't know if it's a girl or boy yet lol) starts to cry. We know one family who have 3 boys (theyll be 12,8 & 4 i think) wont mind because theyre local, get babysitters often and will enjoy a night by themselves and the only other person is one of my friends who at the moment is a single mum to her daughter who will be 3. We're having our ceremony and reception on an island so as much as I'd prefer to make it a blanket rule of no kids, I think we'll put that we'd prefer for kids to not attend, hopefully the FHs friends will get their boys babysat, suggest hotels with child minding for interstate guests and hopefully we'll end up with minimal kids.

Don't get me wrong, I love kids, and the kids that may come are genially well behaved, but after a day of being told to sit still, be quiet etc, then late night of dancing etc, tears will start happening.
I don't care if kids cry at the reception but after I went to my FHs brother's wedding, there were so many misbehaving kids who were running up and down the aisle, crying, throwing things etc. it was a nightmare!
We'll be having a videographer so I don't want a crying baby to block out the recording of our wedding vows etc!

Tanya, of course it is OK for different rules for family. They are family.

We are having FH's nieces as flowergirls so they will be at the ceremony and their grandparents are picking them up before the reception. We have two friends with newborns so have let them know that they can bring their baby as they may or may not be breastfeeding and wanted to make it easier for them to come. Apart from that there will be no other kids.

We aren't having Kids aside from two flower girls. This only affects about 5-6 kids. It is our wedding and having kids running around isn't our idea of a wedding. Ceremony as well. FH gets cranky when their are kids chatting (like they do) at weddings he attends let alone his own. There is one 10 week old attending and possibly a 1 week old depending on the course of events.

I will be opting for no children at my ceremony & reception (both intimate affairs)

The only children involved will be my brother & SIL's two kids (who will both be under 2 on the date) - they can organise care via SIL's sister who lives with them or another close friend.

The other ones up in the air will be the two girls my FH's twin brothers each have - but both brothers are separated from their partners (ex's) and both ex-partners are possessive & no doubt will let any child be flown from NZ to Australia (that's even if they travel which is highly unlikely).

At what point do you allow those with kids know that you will be having a child-free event? Do you discuss prior to sending out invites?

FH and I are opting no kids except my cousin who will be 16. I think it's more a cost thing and yeah. Something we want. Nothing against our friend's children

We opted for no kids under 12. Some friends thought it was a fantastic decision so that they could have a night out together as a couple but some family members have decided not to attend. You can't please everybody, we just did it to cut down on numbers. It's your day so you both have to be happy with who is there

I had some kids come to the ceremony, but only babes in arms at the reception.

Our venue really wasn't appropriate and to invite al the kids would have thrown my numbers substantially.

The only kids we had at ours were those who's parents were from out of town. I didn't like the idea of asking them to arrange a babysitter in a town they didn't know, nor to travel across the country without their little toddlers. Plus i wanted to see their kids as I hardly ever get to see them! So we had 3 toddlers and 2 baby's. The 2 babies and 2 toddlers slept the entire reception, the 3rd toddler danced the entire night to the band! Everyone loved him!

None of our 'in town' guests commented to us about their children not being there, though i suppose they may've to other guests? Though most of our guests let loose and had quite a few drinks so I'm guessing they quite enjoyed being childless for the night!