Although traditionally it is accepted that a gift should be to the value of what it cost the bride and groom to have the guest there, in this day and age when a lot of people are struggling even a simple card would suffice. Weddings can be expensive for guests too - when I was a uni student on a very low income I went to a friend's wedding where I gave $50 at the engagement, the hen's night was $150 per head, I spent $100 on a new outfit for the wedding (bride had specific colours that were requested), I had to take the day off work unpaid because the wedding was on a friday (loss of $120) and I gave them $50 in a card for the wishing well at the wedding. It was above my budget at the time and I wouldn't do it again but the fact is that costs add up for guests too.
You know what? That isn't a tradition at all. It simply become folklore.
Does anyone think it is extremely rude for a couple to invite as many people as possible to their engagement party, request a gift or money on the invite, then not invite the majority of the people to the wedding? I've spent a lot of money on engagement presents where I haven't ended up being invited to the wedding. It just looks like money grabbing to me.
Wellll, it depends on the mindset of a couple. I know people who did this who didn't approach it that ay - they knew they coudln't invite everyone to the wedding, but wanted people to be included somehow. I wouldn't do it personally (I didn't have an e-party at all) but I don't think it's necessarily money-grubbing.