A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
flowerpower82
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Topic Author
Posts: 155
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:40 pm

Guests with new borns

Wed Sep 12, 2012 12:34 am

Deleted this post
Last edited by flowerpower82 on Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
 
User avatar
L.I.W
Insert Candy Here
Insert Candy Here
Posts: 7229
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 10:26 pm

Re: Is it too rude of me to ask breast feeding guests to..

Wed Sep 12, 2012 12:52 am

I have worked at quite a few functions in the past and have always been pretty impressed at how discrete breastfeeding mothers can be. Think of it this way, you don't want them flashing boobs everywhere, and guess what, they probably don't want to be flashing boobs everywhere!
 
User avatar
phillipaelise
Full Member
Full Member
Posts: 87
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2011 1:57 pm

Re: Is it too rude of me to ask breast feeding guests to..

Wed Sep 12, 2012 8:08 am

L.I.W wrote:
I have worked at quite a few functions in the past and have always been pretty impressed at how discrete breastfeeding mothers can be. Think of it this way, you don't want them flashing boobs everywhere, and guess what, they probably don't want to be flashing boobs everywhere!


^^This!! There is no way I would be considering asking breast feeding mothers to cover up or ask them to leave the room. They would probably be very offended and as a result feel very uncomfortable when it comes to the wedding and having to figure out where/how to breast feed. In general, breast feeding mothers don't just get it out in front of everyone and are very skilled at being discreet.

And with the roudy kids... I think most parents would be mortified enough that their child is being disruptive and would deal with it accordingly. Seating them on the aisle or far end of the pew/seats is a great idea!
 
User avatar
KG'sGirl
I need a title
I need a title
Posts: 1053
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 6:02 pm

Re: Is it too rude of me to ask breast feeding guests to..

Wed Sep 12, 2012 9:49 am

I agree that it would be rude for them to cover up, however I truly believe that you will find that they will cover up/be discreet/do their own thing at your wedding. I can't imagine anyone just pulling the boob out for a feed mid ceremony for everyone to see - most mums have their own system how they manage breastfeeding.

Again with noisy children - Most mums will remove noisy children from the ceremony/reception like they would any event/circumstance. You could have a quiet word about it to each Mum, but most probably have those plans in action.
 
User avatar
stormageddon
♥ Mrs Weirdy ♥
♥ Mrs Weirdy ♥
Posts: 1628
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2012 9:58 am

Re: Is it too rude of me to ask breast feeding guests to..

Wed Sep 12, 2012 10:53 am

Is there a feeding room they can use? If so just tell them beforehand that you have provided a feeding/changing room specially for them and provide some extra comforts so they don't feel neglected?
 
Neska
Member
Member
Posts: 12
Joined: Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:55 am

Re: Is it too rude of me to ask breast feeding guests to..

Wed Sep 12, 2012 11:19 am

I think it is very rude. You shouldn't ask a breastfeeding mother to cover up even if she decided to pop her breast out in front of everyone, which I don't think anyone will anyway.
 
User avatar
mrcm1166
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 411
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:16 am

Re: Is it too rude of me to ask breast feeding guests to..

Wed Sep 12, 2012 12:51 pm

my two cents worth: as has been said most mothers are discreet when feeding a baby, if you can get the venue to open the room up for them I think that would be a great idea as most mums I know like to have a little bit of privacy and time to settle the baby so that would be a nice jesture.
knowing how hormonal new mums with breastfeeding babies are, I personally would never ever ever risk offending them by saying they have to cover up because there is no discreet or pleasant way to say it. so having another area would be a good option as long as its clean and comfortable for them, and I would make a point of letting them know that its there for them.

with the children at the ceremony I would get the celebrant to mention as said above that aisle seats be available for parents with little ones just in case.
 
User avatar
Wand33
I need a title
I need a title
Posts: 841
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 10:01 am

Re: Is it too rude of me to ask breast feeding guests to..

Wed Sep 12, 2012 6:19 pm

Agape wrote:
I do agree it is rude to ask feeding mothers to cover up HOWEVER I feel that most people who do get offended are generally the ones that 'pop it out extremely indiscreetly' and make a point of feeding. I totally agree (I am a mother, who has fed) and I find it uncomfortable when a women starts to feed especially at a dinner table or around strangers. Yes I understand it is not a sexual act, it is natural, it is the only way a child feeds (and all the rest) however in Australia breasts are considered taboo to be shown in public, and their is still a lot of uncomfortableness around them being exposed in the presence of strangers. Yes many women can do it discreetly, but some don't. If there are only 4 feeding mothers, I would be inclined to approach them all individually and tell them that you have arranged a room at the reception for their comfort. I would go down the lines off how difficult it is to get a newborn to feed when there is so much noise and activity going on around them, and also as a room to settle bubs and perhaps change nappies etc - just a little room for mums and bubs.

As for the church, I am actually surprised by how many people don't settle their children. I don't know whether people are just immune to all the noise their kids make, or they are just rude, maybe they think it is cute - but many people don't leave the ceremony when their kids are unsettled. Hopefully being such young babies, their cries aren't yet loud so it shouldn't be too much of an issue, however I would still get the priest to say something at the start. Maybe the priest could approach mothers (families) when entering the church and ask them to sit at the end of the pews for an easy exit should bubs become unsettled - people don't seem to get as upset when a priest asks them to do something, as opposed to someone they know. I would again get the priest to mention to along with turning off mobile phones.


This x10000 :tick: :tick: :tick:

Oh, and I'd add to be fairly blunt about the kids' noise being captured on the wedding video which would render it an unpleasant thing to watch in the future, so could they please ensure they move off the second their kid makes a noise.

Maybe just word it a bit nicer than I put it lol
 
User avatar
coco2003
I need a title
I need a title
Posts: 1159
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 10:08 pm

Re: Is it too rude of me to ask breast feeding guests to..

Fri Sep 14, 2012 10:31 am

Yeah it wouldn't go down well.
 
flowerpower82
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Topic Author
Posts: 155
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:40 pm

Re: Is it too rude of me to ask breast feeding guests to..

Fri Sep 14, 2012 11:11 pm

Hmm yep I knew it would be a touchy topic.
Thanks for your comments, I will take them on board!
Last edited by flowerpower82 on Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
 
falling_dawn
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 355
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2011 5:16 pm

Re: Is it too rude of me to ask breast feeding guests to..

Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:47 am

I would not ask them, but there are cultural differences they may be unaware of I remember being a young mum and ordered to the back room to feed my baby who was a week old at the ILs, which I thought was strange as I was the second eldest of 10 grew up with hippy types and was used to seeing baby's fed normally with a towel or shirt covering though in public , but I did learn pretty quick that many Aus are uncomfortable with any boob feeding in public , I did crack it with my partner for making me feed in a bathroom once as he was embarrassed by the feeding when she was a few weeks old and there was no parent room - all that to say if you provide a room and state for your comfort there is a room set aside for feeding and settling they should be ok with that, and if someone whips them out well at least you tried- mind you these ILs seemed to have no issue changing the baby in public which I think is gross :D
 
Aria86
Member
Member
Posts: 56
Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:04 pm

Re: Is it too rude of me to ask breast feeding guests to..

Sat Sep 15, 2012 4:06 pm

If a woman wants to breastfeed in public, she will do it no matter what, irrespective of being asked to cover up. I've been to weddings where mothers have done it non discreetly at the dinner table at the obvious discomfort of the other guests on the table and I've been to weddings where you wouldn't even know the mother was breastfeeding. At the end of the day there is nothing you can do about it other than choosing not to invite the breastfeeding mothers.
GZIP: On | Load: 0.11