A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
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sugarb_91
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What to give?

Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:23 pm

I have a question about what to give to DH's cousin and new wife at their wedding soon.

For DH 's and my wedding they gave us nothing, not even a card. For DH's brother's wedding they gave him nothing either (once again not even a card). At both weddings the cousin and his partner made good use of the bar tab btw! Also they're quite well off financially so money isn't an issue.

We have recently received the cousin's wedding invite and they have a poem for a wishing well. My DH (and his brother) have cracked it a bit and are saying that there is no way that we're giving them a gift. I am extremely uncomfortable with giving nothing though as i do not believe that u go to a wedding empty handed. DH and i are now fighting a bit as i want to give them something.

What/how much would people give as a gift in this situation? Help!
 
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Re: What to give?

Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:42 pm

What Ruby said. A nice card is just right.
 
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Miss Michelle
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Re: What to give?

Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:42 pm

I definitely get why you wouldn't want to give them a gift but I guess some times you just have to take the high road! I agree with Ruby, definitely a card and what about a small gift such as wine glasses or a vase? At least you have put in the effort but haven't put yourselves out too much financially considering they didn't show the same courtesy!
 
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Re: What to give?

Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:07 pm

I agree - it sucks but be the better person here! A card and an affordable physical gift picked up on clearance that looks expensive :lol:
 
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KG'sGirl
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Re: What to give?

Thu Oct 25, 2012 6:46 pm

I would give a nice card and something cheap and sentimental (thats engraved lol)
 
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Wand33
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Re: What to give?

Thu Oct 25, 2012 9:44 pm

I would just do the card.

Clearly they see no wrong in attending weddings and gifting nothing, so when they receive nothing from the very same people they gave nothing to, they'll understand why.

No offence, but surely attending someone's wedding with no gift, you're going to think about how they'll gift at your own wedding if you're not yet married.

My vote, no gift, just a card.
 
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stormageddon
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Re: What to give?

Fri Oct 26, 2012 9:40 am

I would be tempted to give nothing but I guess you should act the better person. A nice card and maybe a nice photo frame?
 
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Teska
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Re: What to give?

Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:54 am

I'd be so tempted to give them nothing but as the others have said, it's better to be the bigger person..... Have you got any photo frames or something small you feel like regifting? lol
 
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Re: What to give?

Mon Dec 10, 2012 10:21 am

KG'sGirl wrote:
I would give a nice card and something cheap and sentimental (thats engraved lol)

Lol-I would be tempted too & FH would agree!
What awful behaviour. I probably wouldn't even go to the wedding so I didn't have to see them. Or get them anything!
 
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Re: What to give?

Tue Dec 11, 2012 2:59 pm

Nah, what goes around comes around. They gave nothing so they get nothing. A pretty card, to put in the wishing well, so it looks like you have given something would be what I would give. Although I like the engraved idea too :lol: Perhaps you could pick something up in the post christmas sales? Just so you don't feel guilty.
 
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peony
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Re: What to give?

Mon Dec 17, 2012 9:31 pm

Lawwa wrote:
I totally get where they are coming from. A card and maybe a marriage certificate holder? Club together for it all lol
*edit* Get it engraved too so they can't regift it!


This made me laugh so much :lol: :lol:
Engraving is GENIUS!!
 
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Re: What to give?

Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:40 pm

I would say a nice card and maybe make a donation to a charity on their behalf?
That way you've still made an effort, been the bigger person, but in doing so you've also helped someone else. And really who is going to ***** that you helped someone less needy and didn't give a gift!
 
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Wand33
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Re: What to give?

Thu Jan 10, 2013 10:36 pm

miss_summer wrote:
I would say a nice card and maybe make a donation to a charity on their behalf?
That way you've still made an effort, been the bigger person, but in doing so you've also helped someone else. And really who is going to ***** that you helped someone less needy and didn't give a gift!


Best suggestion yet!
 
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Re: What to give?

Fri Jan 11, 2013 1:33 pm

Lawwa wrote:
I totally get where they are coming from. A card and maybe a marriage certificate holder? Club together for it all lol
*edit* Get it engraved too so they can't regift it!


I second that!
 
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Re: What to give?

Sun Jan 13, 2013 3:14 am

snoopkat wrote:
Lawwa wrote:
I totally get where they are coming from. A card and maybe a marriage certificate holder? Club together for it all lol
*edit* Get it engraved too so they can't regift it!


I second that!


We were given "a couple of kids" by one of our guests, it's a goat (or maybe two goats?) for a family via Oxfam. We both thought that was a lovey gift and the card was very cute :)
 
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Re: What to give?

Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:36 pm

miss_summer wrote:
I would say a nice card and maybe make a donation to a charity on their behalf?
That way you've still made an effort, been the bigger person, but in doing so you've also helped someone else. And really who is going to ***** that you helped someone less needy and didn't give a gift!



I love this idea miss_summer! I might just remember this if I ever find myself in a similar situation!! 8)
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