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onedayB2B
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wishing well etiquette

Fri Nov 02, 2012 5:57 pm

what is the deal with what to do in regards to wishing wells these days?
do we still include something with the invite to say there will be one (using a naff poem)?
or do we leave it out and wait to see if people ask or not?

i have no idea what is the done thing these days!?
 
onedayB2B
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Re: wishing well etiquette

Fri Nov 02, 2012 7:42 pm

Thats what i thought. Thanks!
Will just leave it as word of mouth for anyone who asks!
 
misteri82
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Re: wishing well etiquette

Mon Nov 05, 2012 10:23 am

While I agree that Agape and MP, my FH wanted to have a wishing well. I also dislike wishing well poems, so we just included a note on the Reception Info card that said we would have one. We have lived together for seven years on a double income so we have everything that we need. We don't like knick knacks that collect dust and we don't need appliances, so we didn't want to receive any physical gifts, so cash is a much better option for us.
 
dungie79
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Re: wishing well etiquette

Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:32 am

We live overseas and really didnt want to lug gifts back with us. We didnt do the poem, because in IHM, thats even worse! We just mentioned that as we will going back to Tokyo, there will be a wishing well should anyone wish to contribute.
Everyone did, which was great! The amounts that everyone put in was really interesting! I think that my friends were more than happy to have that rather than thinking about what to get!
 
flowerpower82
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Re: wishing well etiquette

Thu Nov 22, 2012 8:29 pm

I've been to 26 weddings see no problem with gift registries or wishing wells. These days everyone needs to watch their pennies and as a guest I'd HATE to spend money on a gift the couple don't want and secretly re-gift later. I'd much rather chose something from their registry knowing that they want it. If there's nothing you like (as the guest) then of course you can get them something else.

All but 1 of the 26 weddings (that I can remember) had a registry or wishing well. The one that didn't we knew they wanted money as they're good friends and we had spoken about it. Other guests who didn't know this got them all sorts of gifts. This couple admitted later they had no where to put it and really didn't like it and donated some to charity. I was shocked when i heard they'd gotten rid of some of the gifts, but then was shocked when i heard what some of the gifts were!

It's up to you, i dont think anyone will be surprised or shocked about seeing it on the invite. Anyone who does needs to get with the times :P They're suggestions after all, not "you must do this!".
 
flowerpower82
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Re: wishing well etiquette

Thu Nov 22, 2012 8:56 pm

btw - I pretty much only ever give money as a gift these days. I know how darn useful it is and its also way easier than stressing about the right gift. Plus seriously if i am given another platter i could start a platter museum! (though if anyone who has given me a platter reads this then i promise i love your platter :))

For ours we did an online registry - "not another toaster" and put items like a family tree (a large tree we'll plant out the back), plants, mushroom growing kit, shed shelves, wheelbarrow, camping chairs, cocktails, breakfast in bed, romantic dinner out all for our honeymoon, river cruise, chocolate factory tour tickets, port Arthur ghost tour tickets, and other activities for our honeymoon. Joel made it humorous, put jokes and funny comments next to each one, and we picked hilarious photos for each item.

Then each gift - say camping chair at $80 each was split into $20 lots. So 4 people could put toward it. The family tree (and a bench seat under it) was split into $2 lots so each guest could put $2 toward it if they wanted.

Essentially people were giving money, but toward something we want. Its up to us to buy those things (which we definitely will). Both sets of parents chose an item from it and asked to buy it themselves, so we took them off the registry.

Nearly everything was bought and about 50 guests gave cards with money in them. One gave an actual present at the wedding. All in all several guests told us it was a great idea, theyd never seen a site like that before, and loved reading the comments Joel wrote and seeing what activities we were doing on the honeymoon. If anyone's interested - the plants were bought immediately before anything else, I put up another lot of plants, and they all got bought too. (in total $500 of plants split into $25 lots) They were closely followed by the mushroom kit, family tree and honeymoon activities! :D
 
flowerpower82
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Re: wishing well etiquette

Thu Nov 22, 2012 9:03 pm

Monsoon - I'm sure their registry is a suggestion, not a must. You could select another present outside of the registry and give that to them instead? I dont think that's unusual to do at all.
 
KateM
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Re: wishing well etiquette

Fri Nov 23, 2012 2:29 pm

I hate naff poems. if you really want to mention it, a short lines saying "A wishing well will be present at the reception for guests who wish to utilise that option". Its not pushy at all, and most people will read between the lines.
 
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Re: wishing well etiquette

Fri Nov 23, 2012 2:44 pm

Lawwa wrote:
Just don't hand it over with the words "I didn't like anything on your list so I got you this" which is what one girl said to me at my first wedding :o (btw it was a children's airplane ceiling light......we had no kids and never did. I gave it to a neighbour for their Son).



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claireadam
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Re: wishing well etiquette

Wed Nov 28, 2012 11:15 am

I'm not a fan of poems either, I like the idea of just writing a simple sentence giving them that option so they don't feel obliged
 
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Teska
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Re: wishing well etiquette

Tue Dec 04, 2012 1:31 pm

We didn't have a poem but we did enclose a card in the invitation that we are having a wishing well if they would like to contribute. We didn't specify anything for our engagement party but a lot of people decided to give money anyway and a LOT of guests told us they would have preferred for us to either have a registry OR a wishing well at the engagement party so that they knew what to give us... We already live together so there's not a great deal of things we both need

As a guest, I like getting the wishing well/registry cards in the invite because then I know what I should give before (even if the poems are a bit corny)
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