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would you find this rude?

Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:08 pm

Hi All
In light of my fh disasterous bucks day today - see vent over little things - i'm starting to worry about no shows to our wedding, both from his side and mine. I was wondering if anyone would do this, or is it too rude. I'm thinking of putting up on facebook - so most people coming can see it - "I know this might be blunt and sorry if I offend anyone, but if you've answered that your coming to our wedding, just be aware that you will be paid for in advance so we would appreciate it that if you have no intention of showing up, or feel you won't be bothered on the day, tell us now, otherwise we will look forward to seeing you - again I apologise if anyone is offended by this" what do you all think? or can anyone word it better?
 
claireadam
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Re: would you find this rude?

Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:14 pm

Just read your post in vent,
Was it only him that showed up?
 
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Re: would you find this rude?

Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:23 pm

bm and one friend - fbil and three others are apparently on their way, but I just read on facebook that one is at his local pub, feel like putting up "um shouldn't you be somewhere else, like at one of your best mates bucks days"- i'm so angry and hurt for fh, he's a great guy and doesn't deserve this.
 
claireadam
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Re: would you find this rude?

Sat Mar 16, 2013 6:12 pm

I agree with Ashling, if they can't be bothered turning up then you really don't want or need them there!
I understand where you're coming from though, I'd feel the same if it happened to my FH.
Let him deal with the ones that didnt turn up xxx
 
Wombatta
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Re: would you find this rude?

Sat Mar 16, 2013 8:37 pm

I feel your frustrations and also your FH must be hurt about the now shows at his bucks night.

I personally wouldn't put up any message on facebook like that, it adds a negative tone to things when the wedding should be all about celebrating your love and happiness. Not sure if it makes you feel better but we had 6 or so no shows at our wedding, we had paid for them, but we were so happy and enjoying ourselves that we let it slide.
Enjoy your wedding and I'm sure the ones who come will have a fantastic time with you!
 
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Re: would you find this rude?

Sat Mar 16, 2013 10:27 pm

thanks everyone, I was having a major "grrrrrrr" moment lol! I just found out that one of my wonderful cousins and closest friends sent her RSVP on Friday and her and her hubby are coming - she's been ill and we weren't sure if she would be able too, but she's on the mend and will be coming, sorta put things into perspective a bit. Still hope people don't stuff us around though, not happy if we have to pay for empty seats.
 
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Re: would you find this rude?

Sun Mar 17, 2013 11:04 am

mrspony wrote:
So don't worry about the money so much and don't put up a threatening message on FB, and if people don't turn up then so be it - it helps you realise who your true friends really are.


I think this hits it on the head.

I know it's really hard not to get upset over the people who don't show, but its. A good indication who aren't true friends. If people have no intention of coming they won't be affected by a Facebook status, they will just come up with a lame excuse.
 
Digitalista
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Re: would you find this rude?

Sun Mar 17, 2013 11:20 am

My uncle randomly didn't turn up. My aunty and cousin came but didn't come to the ceremony which I was pretty annoyed at and apparently my uncle had some last minute business to do :roll: . If people don't turn up to the wedding you will probably be too busy to focus on that the whole day. It really will be one of the best days of your life. As long as FH turns up you have a successful wedding.
 
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Teska
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Re: would you find this rude?

Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:43 am

Almost the same thing happened to DH on his bucks (his was a complete disaster anyway so I guess it didn't matter) and we only had 1 no show at the wedding (unrelated to the bucks).

I will probably offend some people with this but it is my opinion: I understand people place a lot of importance on bucks and hens but for some people (and I'm not saying that your FH had this) but strippers and/or drinking aren't everyone's cup of tea. Their partners may not have appreciated them attending a bucks (even if its just drinks at the pub)and they may have figured it's not worth the fight) A bridesmaid of mine left the 2nd part of my hens because it wasn't her thing (she went elsewhere) and I was cool with that because I would hate to be put in a position where I feel like I'm stuck doing something I don't want to because the friendship is over if I don't.

I know you're frustrated and hurt for FH but don't post the status. You may find that not only will you aggravate the no shows (who probably will turn up to your wedding because it's your wedding), you may even catch other friends/guests off guard (I know I certainly would be).
 
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Re: would you find this rude?

Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:52 pm

thanks guys - i'm not posting the status, or anything else about it. FH seems ok, and i've been avoiding most wedding talk for the past 24 hours. I've planned for us to go out next weekend, to something completely non-wedding just to have a "day off" from it all. Thanks for all the advice :)
 
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Re: would you find this rude?

Mon Mar 18, 2013 1:51 pm

I am glad you decided not to post on facebook, the thing is that if someone is not going to show up then a facebook status is not going to change their minds.

I unfortunately had about 8 no shows which is well over $1000 wasted.... i didnt notice everyone but i have to say I did notice my sister, and my aunty and cousin, that hurt but almost as soon as i noticed something else happened and i forgot to worry about it again and had a great time :)

Maybe the week before your wedding put up a post saying you hope all your guests are as excited as you are and do they have accommodation ready? just a nice reminder?
 
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Wand33
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Re: would you find this rude?

Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:38 pm

I'm only having 43 people at my wedding, so any no shows will be pretty noticable.

I'm not above asking for the no shows (without a valid excuse) to pony up the money it cost me for their meal and canepes.

If they dont see the fairness in that, then they have no place in my life and ties are cut. Simple :)
 
Wombatta
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Re: would you find this rude?

Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:31 pm

stormageddon wrote:

Maybe the week before your wedding put up a post saying you hope all your guests are as excited as you are and do they have accommodation ready? just a nice reminder?


That's a really nice way of wording it, that is a good idea.
 
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Miss Michelle
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Re: would you find this rude?

Tue Mar 19, 2013 8:49 am

stormageddon wrote:
I am glad you decided not to post on facebook, the thing is that if someone is not going to show up then a facebook status is not going to change their minds.

I unfortunately had about 8 no shows which is well over $1000 wasted.... i didnt notice everyone but i have to say I did notice my sister, and my aunty and cousin, that hurt but almost as soon as i noticed something else happened and i forgot to worry about it again and had a great time :)

Maybe the week before your wedding put up a post saying you hope all your guests are as excited as you are and do they have accommodation ready? just a nice reminder?

I agree... Facebook is definitely not the way to go.

I think a little reminder couldn't hurt :wink:
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