A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
jumy
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Topic Author
Posts: 278
Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:09 pm

Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 2:11 pm

Hi Ladies

For those who are not having children can you please the wording on how you are telling people.

Thanks
 
User avatar
autumnbride17
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 486
Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:13 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 2:16 pm

mmm, a hard one. I want to put something on our invites, but FH thinks it's rude and that guests should realise that their children aren't invited if they're not listed on the invitation. Unfortunately I think some people wouldn't realise this or deliberatley misinterpret it.

I was thinking of using "we kindly request no children" at the bottom of the invite.
 
samanthaz
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 4:01 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 2:33 pm

I have seen invitations that have said something like 'adults only reception' at the bottom of the invite. It's hard to tell but I don't know anyone with children who has been offended by these invites that I know of (we're inviting children so I haven't had personal experience).
Technically, only the names on the invite are invited to the wedding and the majority of people follow this- but I have heard of a few exceptions! The other option would be to list the names clearly on the invitation i.e. on both the envelope and actual invitation address it to John and Mary Smith. Then the RSVP card could have their names listed again where they can check off who is invited (so there's no confusion about who is actually invited).
 
User avatar
mogle
~Urban Queen~
~Urban Queen~
Posts: 6729
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:20 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 2:38 pm

We simply only included the names of the adult invitees on the invites. It was fairly clear from that who exactly was invited (i.e. not the children). We didn't have any trouble and no-one questioned it.
 
Leesha
I survived and got married
I survived and got married
Posts: 605
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:07 am

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 3:17 pm

We had "we respectfully request that alternate arrangements are made for children" on all our invites except for 2 couples as they had newborns and we didn't expect them to leave their babies in NZ while they trotted off to Sydney.
We had no complaints, questions or anything.
 
Christina
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 311
Joined: Sat May 26, 2007 10:33 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 3:42 pm

We had to be really clear on this, we KNOW certain people would bring their children if we just left their names off the invites.

On our 'additional information' tab we wrote:

As the Reception is a formal, adult occasion in close proximity to Lake Burley Griffin we regret that children under 15 are not invited to the Reception. Children are most welcome at the Ceremony.


As it was we still had certain family members who thought it did not apply to them :roll:
 
jo&glenn
I survived and got married
I survived and got married
Posts: 738
Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:16 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 3:58 pm

we have invited kids to the ceremony but have said it is an "dult only reception" and only have adults names on the rsvp card. we have also explained this to each of our guests when we gave them the invite...
 
SparklingFel
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 577
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 8:54 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:55 pm

we had a separate insert card for the reception card and we wrote at the bottom (in smaller font):

Due to limited seating, we respectfully request that alternate arrangements are made for children.
 
wenji
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 434
Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2008 11:42 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:21 pm

Unfortunately I think it needs to be said, a workmate recently had her wedding and her cousin replied saying they were coming and ADDED the child's name to the RSVP card (which only had the parent's name on it) My coworker had to call them and explain that they were not accomodating for children. Caused unnecessary stress for the bride and the cousin never ended up attending.
 
jumy
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Topic Author
Posts: 278
Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:09 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:26 pm

wenji wrote:
Unfortunately I think it needs to be said, a workmate recently had her wedding and her cousin replied saying they were coming and ADDED the child's name to the RSVP card (which only had the parent's name on it) My coworker had to call them and explain that they were not accomodating for children. Caused unnecessary stress for the bride and the cousin never ended up attending.


See this is my problem, I dont like confrontation and dont want to come to blows with guests over something like this. It is a decision that FH and I have made but it is one that we are sticking to. We had kids at our engagement party and all the parents did all night was follow them around, you couldnt stop to talk to them and it was all a bit hectic. I know that it will be different in a reception environment, they wont have to worry about them breaking things etc but its just something we have decided on.

I think I will have to spell it out on the RSVP's with

"we kindly request no children"
 
User avatar
craigs girl
The Bandit
The Bandit
Posts: 4812
Joined: Mon Nov 27, 2006 3:17 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:31 pm

mogle wrote:
We simply only included the names of the adult invitees on the invites. It was fairly clear from that who exactly was invited (i.e. not the children). We didn't have any trouble and no-one questioned it.


We have done the same thing. And anyone that has asked we have just told them and they havent had an issue with that. In fact a few of our guests with littlies have said they are looking forward to a kid - free evening!
 
wenji
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 434
Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2008 11:42 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:36 pm

That's basically what we are doing. Many of our friend's have children and the invite list would be double if we invited them too. I would rather invite more adult friends over children.

Unfortunately, we have FOUR guests who will be due around our wedding date. One friend has already quickly offered that she would have her parent's babysit for the evening if need be, just express some milk etc. Others, I am not so sure on and I would NEVER ask them leave a newborn with someone else. FH and I are yet to agree on how to deal with this.
 
tegz_86
I need a title
I need a title
Posts: 1384
Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:11 am

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:39 pm

We simply had adults names on the envelope eg: to Mr J. and Mrs. C. Smith. Then the invitation inside had their names - John and Claire Smith the pleasure of your company is..... etc. We also spread by WOM that kids weren't going to be invited. So far, we have had a couple of RSVPs asking for clarification, and none of them have been offended that we aren't inviting kids, because we've taken the time to explain it to them - we'd rather they enjoy themselves than chase after kiddies, and that there will be a few kids there (my daughter, flowergirl, jr BM, and a couple of rellies who live interstate - so it'd be difficult for them to leave their kiddlies behind). And guess what!?! No confrontation, no noses out of joint, and no stress! In fact, most of them seem fairly pleased at the idea of a night out (on Valentines Day) with out the kids tagging along. It only becomes a "problem" and "stressful" if you let it
 
User avatar
xepphire
I need a title
I need a title
Posts: 617
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:11 am

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:21 am

I think it is totally fine to write it on the invite. I'm having kids at mine but I can completely understand why you say no. Just write it. People will be more appreciative to know upfront. Someone will always contest it or just arrive with a child but stand firm and make sure all your ushers understand
 
AmyKendallLily
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 186
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:53 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:09 am

We simply just left the childrens names off the invitations, there are only a few families where we arn't inviting their youngest childen anyway. We just told them verbally that the children are more than welcome to come to the ceremony but unfortunately we cannot accomodate them at the Reception. I know that most adults would be more than happy to offload their kids for the night so they can enjoy themselves a bit more :D

Good luck with your decision but just remember to do what YOU want to do!!
 
User avatar
mogle
~Urban Queen~
~Urban Queen~
Posts: 6729
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:20 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:36 am

wenji wrote:
Unfortunately, we have FOUR guests who will be due around our wedding date. One friend has already quickly offered that she would have her parent's babysit for the evening if need be, just express some milk etc. Others, I am not so sure on and I would NEVER ask them leave a newborn with someone else. FH and I are yet to agree on how to deal with this.

We had one newborn baby at our wedding (2 weeks old). We didn't put babies in the same category.
 
wenji
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 434
Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2008 11:42 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:39 am

mogle wrote:
wenji wrote:
Unfortunately, we have FOUR guests who will be due around our wedding date. One friend has already quickly offered that she would have her parent's babysit for the evening if need be, just express some milk etc. Others, I am not so sure on and I would NEVER ask them leave a newborn with someone else. FH and I are yet to agree on how to deal with this.

We had one newborn baby at our wedding (2 weeks old). We didn't put babies in the same category.


I personally don't either....it's the other half who wants to stand firm on this point... :roll:
 
User avatar
kristielee
Accidently In Love
Accidently In Love
Posts: 1849
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 10:47 am

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:14 am

I think you have to be really specific, we just put adults names on the invites, and caused all sorts of drama's, we even offended people by not putting the kids names' on! Everyone asked us if they could, which was no problem, I guess I just assumed they would all want a night out to kick their heels up!
 
lrh
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 111
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:26 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:23 am

wenji wrote:
That's basically what we are doing. Many of our friend's have children and the invite list would be double if we invited them too. I would rather invite more adult friends over children.

Unfortunately, we have FOUR guests who will be due around our wedding date. One friend has already quickly offered that she would have her parent's babysit for the evening if need be, just express some milk etc. Others, I am not so sure on and I would NEVER ask them leave a newborn with someone else. FH and I are yet to agree on how to deal with this.


I think when it comes to newborns, you should allow them. Some women can't express and many women don't want to be separated from their babies so early on. I think there is a difference between a newborn and a six or eight month old, who can be babysat. I would just have a chat with your friends and respectfully ask that they leave the ceremony/speeches if bubs starts howling. Most people have the common sense to do this, but I have been at weddings where people haven't had it and have sat there with screaming babies looking at everyone like it's not a big deal.
 
lrh
I just love to talk
I just love to talk
Posts: 111
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:26 pm

Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:24 am

wenji wrote:
mogle wrote:
wenji wrote:
Unfortunately, we have FOUR guests who will be due around our wedding date. One friend has already quickly offered that she would have her parent's babysit for the evening if need be, just express some milk etc. Others, I am not so sure on and I would NEVER ask them leave a newborn with someone else. FH and I are yet to agree on how to deal with this.

We had one newborn baby at our wedding (2 weeks old). We didn't put babies in the same category.


I personally don't either....it's the other half who wants to stand firm on this point... :roll:


I think once you have kids his opinion will change entirely. Maybe explain to him that it can be very uncomfortable for new mothers to be away from their newborns so early on as they need to feed regularly (as it becomes painful) and because the baby is extremely fragile so early on.
GZIP: On | Load: 0.21