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lrh
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:25 am

kristielee wrote:
I think you have to be really specific, we just put adults names on the invites, and caused all sorts of drama's, we even offended people by not putting the kids names' on! Everyone asked us if they could, which was no problem, I guess I just assumed they would all want a night out to kick their heels up!


Some people seem to forget that weddings are a) expensive and b)often formal affairs at which children are, frankly, not appropriate guests.
 
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 12:55 pm

Strictly Adults Affair
 
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:22 pm

I'm going to have a baby at mine, my FH's brother's newborn, due 3 weeks before the wedding. There's NO WAY I'd ask them not to bring their baby!
 
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:52 pm

mogle wrote:
We simply only included the names of the adult invitees on the invites. It was fairly clear from that who exactly was invited (i.e. not the children). We didn't have any trouble and no-one questioned it.


We did the same. The only person that did ask was a family friend that brought her 3 week old daughter and we didnt hear anything from her all day and night - the perfect guest.
 
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Princess_Bride
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:56 pm

We just wrote only the adults names on the invite...we didn't have any problems with people wanting to bring their children. Some of my younger cousins came to the ceremony only and then their parents had arrange for a babysitter for after, which wasn't a problem.
 
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spinkle
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 2:21 pm

I want to invite my first cousins and my nephews so there will be 5 children who will be invited. However I won't be inviting my cousins' children or family friends' children (otherwise there would be 20+ kids running around). So I think it may put a few people off if I put "adults only reception" or the like on the invite when there are some children present. Hopefully people will get the picture when only the adults names are on the invite. I hope there are no dramas with people being like "well how come those kids are invited and not mine?". I realise I am potentially asking for trouble but I am close to my little cousins and nephews but not with the other kids and really want them there but don't want a whole heap of other kids there.
Sorry to hijack and for the long post...
 
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:02 pm

Spinkle, I am doing the same thing. We are having our nephews and nieces, and a few cousins' children (they are teens and will be well-behaved), but not the children of friends or colleagues. I am hoping that if their names are not on the invite they will know their kids arent invited. Hopefully. Perhaps we might say something verbally to the parents who we think might presume their kids are invited.
 
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crasymonkey
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:06 pm

runawaymind wrote:
Spinkle, I am doing the same thing. We are having our nephews and nieces, and a few cousins' children (they are teens and will be well-behaved), but not the children of friends or colleagues. I am hoping that if their names are not on the invite they will know their kids arent invited. Hopefully. Perhaps we might say something verbally to the parents who we think might presume their kids are invited.


I dont have any nieces or nephews yet (first one to get hitched), but one of my cousins has kids, my MOH has a kid, my uncle has just had a kid with his younger bride, and very close family friends have kids, all invited, very happy to have them there. PROBLEM: my other cousin isnt married, still lives at home but has kids with his partner, and they dont live together.

I've tried to have this discussion with my mum and dad (its dad's side of the family), and its still ongoing. We've never met the 'partner' or the kids. They couldnt make it to the engagement because Cuz was working. Invites to the wedding will go out in February, so we're hoping to have a clearer view on things by then. We might meet them over christmas, but i doubt it. I dont even think our grandparents have met the kids...

So my theory is, Cus and partner Yes. Kids we've never met, No.
 
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:49 pm

lrh wrote:

I think once you have kids his opinion will change entirely. Maybe explain to him that it can be very uncomfortable for new mothers to be away from their newborns so early on as they need to feed regularly (as it becomes painful) and because the baby is extremely fragile so early on.



Yep, we both agree on this, but FH is firm on no kids (fair enough, its our wedding and I want him to enjoy it) and it wouldn't bother him if they decline the invite. He doesn't mean that in a nasty way at all, but as our wedding is going to be in another town (not too far from where most of our friends live but far enough) it would be a big trip for someone with a newborn. Our reception will be in a restaurant with very limited space, so it would be difficult to accomodate too many newborns and prams. Also, I was OK when it was one newborn....but now its up to a possible 4!

Although we would love everyone to be there, we know traveling and being in an atmosphere like a wedding would be difficult with a bub. I know many of you wouldn't agree...but we've decided that we can't say no to most people and yes to some.
 
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auntyamber
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Wed Nov 19, 2008 3:12 am

Sorry but I have to say that being in another town would be more of a reason to invite newborns. I could not expect one of my guests to leave their new baby at home when they are in another town, and then that comes to the option of getting a babysitter in the same town as the reception which to me would mean more than likely with someone they don't know very well. But each to their own. My sister just went to a wedding where children weren't invited (12 hours from where they lived) and this cause alot of stress for my sister and quite a few tears for her as her. My nephew is 16months, has never been left with anyone for more than an hour and even then it is only immediate family, and my sister was faced with the predicament of how do i leave my baby with someone i don't know in a place that he doesn't know. Luckily the people called them and told them the no children was for just that CHILDREN not babies and that of course he was invited, otherwise I would have had to drive 6 hours to look after him for the night.
 
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Wed Nov 19, 2008 6:20 pm

We specifically only put the names of the adults on our invites, not the childrens names. Also, on the RSVP cards we listed the guests name/s and then had a space for people to write their response. Ie. ...... out of 2 guests attending

We also enlisted the help of one of our bridesmaids to make sure that a mutual friend of ours had arranged child care for their very spirited and energetic child.

Ironically, the one guest that had to pull out at the last moment because of his childcare arrangements falling through was DH's cousin and the one person we would not have minded at all if he'd brought his daughter.
 
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Thu Nov 20, 2008 7:49 am

we sent a little info sheet with our save the date cards about accommodation and the area the wedding was in, and included a note that said 'our wedding will be an adults only event, thank you for making other arrangements for your children on our special day'
noone questioned us on it at all, except dh's sister but we just stuck to our guns about it and it was fine. there are a lot of young kids on dh's side and they are normally included in family events, so we wanted to spell it out because we didn't want them at the wedding.

on the invites we just put the names of the adults only on the invites.

with newborns, i think all you can really do is talk to the parents involved. i dont have kids yet, but i think as the others have said there is a whole bunch of reasons why people can't/don't like to leave newborns with babysitters and you're best off to talk to the parents directly and see what their thoughts are. you might find they will be happy to have a relative babysit for the evening, or if the baby is due within a few weeks of your wedding, maybe mum and bub might not be planning on attending at all? it might be too soon for them to be out and about.
 
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Thu Nov 20, 2008 2:40 pm

spinkle wrote:
I want to invite my first cousins and my nephews so there will be 5 children who will be invited. However I won't be inviting my cousins' children or family friends' children (otherwise there would be 20+ kids running around). So I think it may put a few people off if I put "adults only reception" or the like on the invite when there are some children present. Hopefully people will get the picture when only the adults names are on the invite. I hope there are no dramas with people being like "well how come those kids are invited and not mine?". I realise I am potentially asking for trouble but I am close to my little cousins and nephews but not with the other kids and really want them there but don't want a whole heap of other kids there.
Sorry to hijack and for the long post...


I have invoted my 4 nieces & nephews - i have already had one interstate guest ring & say yeah we'll be there & obviously the kids will be too - i was like yeah um of course- like HOW could I say no! I didnt put them on the invite- I thought they would prob just fly up for te weekend anyways - surely ghrandma could have them for the weekend _ oh well - fh said I should expect it - he is not phased about it nut it did Peeve me off esp as the kids meals are $35 per person (adults are $55 which I can deal with as I HAVE invuted them!!
 
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Wed Aug 29, 2012 10:40 am

"Although children are most welcome at the ceremony, we ask that only nursing infants attend the reception."
 
EnglishCountryRose
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Re: Invitation Wording - No Children

Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:22 pm

We did a lot of research on this one too, because almost everyone we wanted to invite to the wedding has children and at half the adult price we just could not afford to have everyone's children at our wedding (other than those in the bridal party). And it is too hard to say some children can come and others not.

So eventually we decided that we would specifically write the names (on both the invitation and the envelope) of the adults invited. We also included an RSVP card that had the names of the adults invited and a checkbox next to each name for attending or not attending. To make sure that there was absolutely no confusion (because we had heard that sometimes even with this, people will add names), we added a note on the RSVP card saying "Children are welcome to attend the ceremony. Unfortunately however we are unable to accommodate children at the reception". We also included a card with local babysitting services.

So far we have had no issues at all which is great. Everyone seems to be very understanding which is a real relief!
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