A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
darkphoenix
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Re: March 2012

Fri Feb 10, 2012 9:32 pm

Jessie, I just thought, maybe this is the perfect reason you need to tell FMIL she can't move in with you?
 
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Re: March 2012

Fri Feb 10, 2012 9:39 pm

darkphoenix wrote:
Jessie, I just thought, maybe this is the perfect reason you need to tell FMIL she can't move in with you?


:tick: :tick: :tick: :tick:

Its my HEns tomorrow afternoon/evening...Im nervous! We are doing a cocktail masterclass, then dinner/drinks/dancing..I will be sure to pot some pics on sunday :D
 
darkphoenix
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Re: March 2012

Fri Feb 10, 2012 9:50 pm

Definitely want photos Erin! I'm sure you'll have a blast.

I hate venting, specially knowing it'll bring the mood down after your exciting news Jessie but I'm just at my wits end at the moment and I don't really have anyone I can talk to other then FH and he'll just tell me I'm being silly. I have my good days and my hard days and today's been one of those really tough days and it's just making me rethink everything. Stupidly let it get to me too much tonight though and just told FH the wedding's off :( I just feel so selfish for wanting to marry him. He deserves a wife, not an invalid that he has to practically look after. I'm asking him to give up so much by being with me, it means never having a family, potentially not having a wife soon. I just hate that I'm putting him through so much, I get that he does it because he loves me but it doesn't help me feel any less selfish :(
 
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Re: March 2012

Fri Feb 10, 2012 10:26 pm

darkphoenix wrote:
Definitely want photos Erin! I'm sure you'll have a blast.

I hate venting, specially knowing it'll bring the mood down after your exciting news Jessie but I'm just at my wits end at the moment and I don't really have anyone I can talk to other then FH and he'll just tell me I'm being silly. I have my good days and my hard days and today's been one of those really tough days and it's just making me rethink everything. Stupidly let it get to me too much tonight though and just told FH the wedding's off :( I just feel so selfish for wanting to marry him. He deserves a wife, not an invalid that he has to practically look after. I'm asking him to give up so much by being with me, it means never having a family, potentially not having a wife soon. I just hate that I'm putting him through so much, I get that he does it because he loves me but it doesn't help me feel any less selfish :(


Massive hugs coming your way Kate. as I said on FB, he obviouly loves you so much, he doesn't care about those things...he just wants to marry you...
We are all getting stressed and are obviously more emotional...take a deep breath and get a good nights sleep hun...
 
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sachick90
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Re: March 2012

Fri Feb 10, 2012 10:33 pm

Just butting in

JessieK wrote:
Just a quick update, I'm still computerless! We might be getting a stretch limo for the day from ny beauty therapist whose husband owns it. She's also letting us pay after the wedding which is a giant help but the best news is we are expecting our second bubba! Very unexpected! We were actually being super careful because I wanted to go back to work after the wedding but I guess we're just super fertile! I can't tell anyone yet because its still early days but I'm too excited to keep it to myself :D :D


Congrats thats exciting
 
millie
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Re: March 2012

Fri Feb 10, 2012 10:36 pm

Yay for Jessie!!!! Also tell him it's back on Kate!!! It's not like you HAVE to have babies to be hapy and if you want them together there are soooo many other options. You will not be sick forever.
 
Majeen
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Re: March 2012

Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:23 pm

OMG Jessie sooooooo exciting, congrats!

Kate since when is it selfish to let someone love you much in sickness and in health? It just shows what a lovely man you are marrying. You didn't ask him to give anything up and there are options in having a family.

Just because parts of you don't work right that does not make you any less of a woman or a wife! I am sure you would make an amazing wife. GBH
 
beckstar2012
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Re: March 2012

Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:43 pm

Omg Jessie I am so excited for you. Congratulations! What a lovely wedding present for you and FH hehe :bdance: :bdance:

Sending you a GBH Kate. Your strength and positivity amazes me!

I should be sleeping as its my hens tomorrow (well it started tonight but everyone was so tired they have all gone to bed) but I can't sleep :(
 
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Re: March 2012

Sat Feb 11, 2012 12:02 am

Awww I typed this whole big thing and it disappeared. Kate, don't be too hard on yourself, concentrate on the good stuff as hard as it may be. Vent whenever you need to xx thanks for the congratulations ladies, I'm getting more excited every minute!
 
Brys
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Re: March 2012

Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:04 am

congrats JessieK that is wonderful news!

Dark - look after yourself. maybe go and do something NWR. i was thinking of popping up the road and having a pedi. i cant really afford it but i feel so blah i thought it might lift me out of this funk.

picked up the invites yesterday. they are perfect. now to post!
 
darkphoenix
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Re: March 2012

Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:21 am

Thanks girls, I'm actually feeling much better this morning. My bad moments are few and far between but when they come I just think what the hell am I doing.
I'm thinking FH is ok too, I got breakfast in bed this morning (not so great for the diet) and some flowers and somehow he stole my e-ring last night, actually off my finger, and "proposed" again. He figured since I told him it was off he had to ask me again for it to be on again. We had a bit of a chat and he's pretty much told me I'm a complete idiot, he knew what he was getting into long before he proposed and if he wants to spend as much time with me as possible as his wife, whether it's 50 years or a month, it's his choice and I can't take that away from him. And if he has to look after me for another 5 years and we never have kids, we have each other so that's the most important thing. All things that I know, but it's so hard to see that at times. I struggle more with how me being sick is affecting everyone else then what it means for me. So when it's hard nights like last night I end up a mess, I just hate seeing FH so stressed over me and stupidly think he'd be better if I wasn't here. So short of it, I'm an idiot and the weddings still on :)
 
darkphoenix
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Re: March 2012

Sat Feb 11, 2012 8:32 pm

7 weeks today!!! I was absolutely freaking out this morning as I skipped a week, was thinking it was only 6 weeks!
We had a longer dance lesson tonight, and we've only got 20 seconds left of the song to go!!! I'm absolutely loving it, the guys worked in a couple of dips and a lift! It's a bit scary but it's going to look awesome so now it's just practice, practice, practice. Or at the very least, nag, nag, nag until FH gets off his butt to practice :P So frustrating as the dance was his idea but I have to nag him for 3 days before he'll practice!

After my breakdown last night, I've got a new wave of excitement! Just really want it to hurry up and get here!!!
 
millie
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Re: March 2012

Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:19 am

glad things are better Kate. FH had his bucks last night... could be a long hungover day for him!
 
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Re: March 2012

Sun Feb 12, 2012 1:28 pm

IM glad you have a new wave of excitement Kate..how cute that FH proposed again!!! Yay the wedding is back on :heart:

Well I had my hens last night and had a ball! We had a cocktail masterclass first, then moved onto dinner and drinks. It helped that the cocktail class involved topless male waiters who gave massages :-) My friends made it a Hawaiian theme, so everyone had Lei's and I had a coconut bra, lei and grass skirt..I had a ball!

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Re: March 2012

Sun Feb 12, 2012 1:29 pm

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darkphoenix
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Re: March 2012

Sun Feb 12, 2012 7:36 pm

Hahah, looks like you had a blast Erin! Can't believe mine's still over a month away!! Can't believe some of you girls will be a Mrs before I have my fun :p

Jessie, I got your paper today! Ended up having to go down there for work today so I'll post it tomorrow for you :)
 
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Re: March 2012

Sun Feb 12, 2012 7:44 pm

I did have a blast Kate! I am very thankful for the great friends that I have :D

Good work on the paper Kate!
 
darkphoenix
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Re: March 2012

Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:19 pm

I'm hoping mine will be ok. I'm almost at the point of feeling like I need to ask my MOH to step down :( And she's the one organizing the hens night!!
I'm going to see how we go dress shopping Wednesday and if she's not any better I may have to have that chat. I just don't know how to deal with her anymore, she's become really selfish these past months. Can I possibly get some opinions as to whether I'm over-reacting? I just don't want to seem like I'm having a Bridezilla moment.

We had the chat at the beginning about who was going to pay for what and I offered to help out as much as I could as MOH is a single mum, I went halves on her first dress and that's about the extent of what I can afford at the moment. There's just not a spare cent and it's looking like I may have to skip the extra videography of us girls getting ready that I wanted. Anyway, she's now practically demanding I pay for her hair and makeup and nails. She's telling me she doesn't want to chip in anymore for the accommodation for the wedding night, we hired a big house for all of us and it's only $50pp and that's for the two nights for her so not crazy expensive. And since she doesn't fit the first dress anymore, rather then looking at alterations, she's been out looking for dresses and found one she loves (I think it's hideous, just ruching in all the wrong places and completely the wrong colour, it's more an emerald green) that she's telling me I'll have to go halves for, it's $220! The formal place I want to go to on Wednesday has dresses from $50, I could pay for the whole thing, but she's being all sulky and doesn't want to go all the way down there. It's only a 20min drive and I've even offered to pick her up. And she's been super sulky that I don't want to stay out till 4am for the hens night and get drunk with her. I can't drink at the moment so there's no appeal to go out clubbing. I've told her I won't be having an early night but 1am, maybe 2am will be my extent. I'm that sick I've barely been able to see 10pm most nights but it's my hens party so I'll see how I go. I also asked her a few weeks ago if there's anything she wanted me to wear for the hens party, no whatever I wanted was fine so went out and bought a nice dress, it was only $50 but she's now told me she doesn't like the dress and she's picked out one for me for the night that's $100! It's just so frustrating, there's lot of little things too. She asked if I wanted her to grow her hair out for the wedding and I said that would be really nice as I was thinking an updo for the BM, she went and got it cut last week, into a bob so there's no way any style of updo would work. Not a big thing but when you've asked you don't then turn around and do something else. And she spent my bridal shower sulking because it wasn't what she envisaged and my sister didn't include her in the organizing. I asked her when my sister first started organizing if she wanted to help, of course the answer was no so she had no grounds to sulk. I just get the feeling that I may end up regretting having her beside me on the day. Sorry for the long vent, just not sure if I'm over-reacting but it's just so frustrating.
 
millie
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Re: March 2012

Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:45 pm

Oh I really feel for you. I have 4 bridesmaids and they are all good girls, they seem to be enjoying the fun of planning. If I were you I would ask her to step down I think. It will probably be a relief for her. But I would put it on her. I would say "hey hon, I've noticed that you've not really been happy in your role a MOH and I know it's a big job. You are very important to me, but if you would prefer to come as a guest, let me know and that will be fine too. I have to be honest though, I can not afford to pay for another dress/hair/make up/ accom"
I think she'll step down herself.

My guest list has dwindled a little bit- we are at the stock standard 10% that can't come though. I think we are sitting on 98? guests. We started with 110 but my poor granny (96) passed away, we had a few from the UK who couldn't make it, my cousin from Canberra- that was hard, we had said no children and she basically said that if she can't bring her kid she won't come. Unfortunately I said that we had said no to other people and I wouldn't feel right about saying yes to her so she's out. We also had a couple of people break up with their partners! that's awkward as their name was on the invite- hope the partners don't turn up, lol.

One of my friends has just got pregnant and when she had her last child about 4 years ago she was quite sick (pre ecclampsia). She has told me that she doesn't want to come to the wedding because she doesn't want to get sick again. I was actually ok with this because she said she would come to the ceremony. She's making quite an effort to come as it is quite a drive for her. Thing is that my girlfriends (I had dinner with them last night) reckon that she's just saying that so I don't pay for her and she won't come to the ceremony. This girl is really lovely but I'm sure she has some kind of public anxiety or something, she really struggles to attend anything. It is sad though because there was a time that we were very close. I was a bridesmaid for her 5 years ago and jumped through all sorts of hoops to help plan her wedding!

Aww well- whatever happens happens.

Most important thing is that people who want to be there are there and that they feel really special and have a ball!
 
darkphoenix
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Re: March 2012

Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:55 pm

Sorry about your gran millie :( It's really hard so close to a wedding. I still don't know if my grandparents are able to make it as my pop had a stroke and is still quite unwell.

Unfortunately MOH won't step herself down, it's come to that point a few times and I did say to her if it's too much I understand and you're always more then welcome as a guest and you can still come and get ready with us. But no, she definitely wants to be in the bridal party so I just don't know. Hoping Wednesday will show that it was just a phase and she'll be ok.
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