A Community for Brides Planning their Wedding in Australia

 
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kimberlina81
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Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 12:23 am

Well it's been ages since my wedding and I've fully happy again now but for a couple of months or so after my wedding I suffered post wedding depression. I am sure some of you have too. It sounds ridiculous to say out loud, so you keep it to yourself and just feel sad inside and don't understand why. None of my friends knew.

I had the wedding of my dreams. Absolutely EVERYTHING went right on the day. It was perfect, the weather was beautiful and I am so blessed. But after reality sunk in of the fact that I was never going to be a bride again (well, hopefully!!) and never going to be able to have such a beautiful function with my friends and family. I would never wear such a beautiful dress again. All my decisions were done and dusted and I couldn't look through a bridal magazine ever again legitimately!! I love weddings and I have been with my now hubby for ten years (11 now) so I'd been thinking about my dream wedding with him for a decade.

It does get better and it is not silly. Your feelings are real. Feel sad for what you have left behind (you're no longer a 'bride') and feel overjoyed for the husband you now have and the future you have together.

DH and I are going to Japan at the end of the year for 2 months to learn Japanese, a dream I've always had but never fulfilled. I'd love it to be longer but I'd also like to keep my job. :wink: Then next year we have a lot of renovating to do (have an old QLD'er) and after that we'll see what happens!

Please believe me when I say you are not alone, it will get better and although I didn't use this forum at that time (just gave up on all things wedding related for a while), I'm sure everyone on this forum will support you and help you through it. :D
 
Darens Girl

Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 8:38 am

Image
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LR
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 8:57 am

Thanks for sharing your story - I'm sure it helps new brides to know that they are not alone when they have these feelings.

I'm hoping that after my wedding I can preoccupy myself with planning other things (as I LOVE planning). For starters our main honeymoon is 9 months later, then hopefully building a house, etc.
 
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Palm Cove Bride
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 10:47 am

mrsko wrote:
I don't know how many of you ladies suffered from this but I'm interested to know how many didn't? (Sorry I mean to hijack this thread) I may be in the minority who didn't get post wedding depression mainly because I had some dramas with my parents so after the wedding I had post wedding happiness because it was finally over!


After 3yrs of planning my wedding I was worried I would get post wedding depression but i didnt, not in the slightest. I can understand that many brides would suffer from it in one way or another. For me after the wedding there was still so much wedding related stuff to do months and months later - there was getting our proof photos back and going through picking the ones to go in our album as well as showing family and friends and getting parents to pick the photots they wanted which i then used to create their own personal parent album thru momento which kept me really busy for a several months. There was also getting our highlight dvd to share then our full length wedding dvd and sharing that with everyone. Then it was 5mth after the wedding when we got our massive digital coffee table pro album. Then there was the bridal expo fashion show that i was lucky enough to compete in 8mths after the wedding so i got to wear my dress again. And more than a 1yr after the wedding im still trying to finish a scrapbook of our entire wedding day which is keeping me extremely busy with wedding type stuff.
 
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 10:51 am

Thanks for the advice, I am worried about this too as I have been planning for so long :(
 
mandamoo
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 11:02 am

mrsko wrote:
I don't know how many of you ladies suffered from this but I'm interested to know how many didn't? (Sorry I mean to hijack this thread) I may be in the minority who didn't get post wedding depression mainly because I had some dramas with my parents so after the wedding I had post wedding happiness because it was finally over!


I didnt get post wedding depression. My planning of the wedding was very relaxing and didnt have any dramas whatsoever everything fell into place.

I was worried I would but didnt..It wouldnt be a nice feeling as I suffer depression anyway.
 
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craigs girl
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 11:07 am

mandamoo wrote:

I didnt get post wedding depression. My planning of the wedding was very relaxing and didnt have any dramas whatsoever everything fell into place.



Me too! I absolutely loved planning our wedding and there were very few stressful moments, and for those reasons I thought I would be a bit depressed after the wedding. But I wasn't at all :mrgreen: I think it wasn't until we went to another wedding in October that I thought, 'I have had aboslutely nothing to do with this wedding, I dont know what their colour sheme is of what flowers they are having etc' and that suited me down to the ground. I think it helped that people were asking to see my photos for about 6 months after the wedding so that brought back a bit of the happiness of the day and allowed me to relive it a bit.
 
Autumn2010
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 11:17 am

I didn't get PWD. Yeah it is a little bit of a bummer that i won't get to wear my dress again (well in front of people) but i was glad it was over, loved it all so much, but glad it was done. Thats with 2.5yrs planning. I was a bit depressed after the wedding but that was due to all the crap dh and i got put through not because of PWD.
 
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 11:19 am

You girls that had no dramas are very lucky, I have had dramas non stop from the people that are supposied to 'care'. And the girl from work that is getting married has had the worst time ever (which actually makes me feel like I have nothing at allto worry about) her mother in law has been a constant nightmare, probably why today she has an ear and lung infection, the day before her wedding :roll:

Thank goodness I have a very supportive Mother and FH :heart:
 
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MissChookz
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 4:35 pm

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sylvatin
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 7:56 pm

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carly_buttons
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 8:09 pm

I am coming out of it now, but the first couple of weeks were really hard. I used to cry about the fact it was over. Don't get me wrong, we had an amazing perfect day and I love my DH to bits, but I was sad I wouldn't get to experience it again. I was sad that my MOH had to deal with her sh!t and distract me from what I was doing. I am still a bit angry about it. It's hard to explain it.
 
emfive
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 10:57 pm

I was worried that I would be really sad & depressed since I loved wedding planning so much but I wasn't.

After the wedding I just felt so much closer to DH that it in itself was a high (I don't think I have come down yet :heart: ). It was such an amazing feeling that it made the details I agonised over seem trivial. I guess it is easy for me to say that since we had our perfect wedding. I might feel very differently if I didn't get the wedding I had hoped/planned for.

We also had a fantastic honeymoon which made it even better, if anything I was more sad that it was over and we had to go back to the norm.
 
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kimberlina81
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Re: Post wedding depression

Fri May 28, 2010 11:54 pm

That's the funny thing actually...We did have the perfect wedding! 8O There isn't a thing I would change (well I might have got more sleep if time had allowed it and I wouldn't have worn lipstick....!). It wasn't like it was easy a lot of the time in the lead up (won't go into reasons why) but I still really enjoyed the planning!

I just wanted to let others know it is quite acceptable to be sad and there are others out there. I didn't cry over it but had this gut wrenching 'sad' feeling that I couldn't shake for a bit. I know one of my friends did after her wedding (although she never said it) and I am very ashamed to say that I didn't help her out because I was too involved with my own wedding and really didn't understand how she felt. She's ok now but I know it was hard there for a while for her.

I was never worried that I would be sad after it was all said and done, I was just having fun planning it all. So it was a bit shocking when I had this depressed feeling and I felt silly sad over such a happy event!

I think the other thing is that everyone else of my friends was married pretty much so it was kind of like, "well, that was it." And I was always the one who photographed the flowers and the table setting (and often the place cards...)!! :lol:

There is light at the end of the tunnel though and I am glad to say I'm definitely there! It will get better. :D :D :D :heart:
 
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Re: Post wedding depression

Sat May 29, 2010 9:52 am

MissChookz wrote:
I havent been around WC lately for this very reason. I happened to log on today to have a quick lurk, and noticed this thread which is very relevant to me.
I did, and am still suffering post wedding depression and it is quite severe :( To be fair, I have a history of depression and anxiety which I assume would make me more suseptable to getting a bout of it post wedding.
Thanks for posting Kimberlina - its nice to know I'm not the only one.


I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you are!! I hope you are OK, am here if you want a chat :D
 
trjn
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Re: Post wedding depression

Sat May 29, 2010 10:47 am

I expected that I would be really sad when it was all over, but by the last month of planning I was so ready to be done with it (maybe that's an advantage of a relatively long engagement - ours was 18months).
I didn't have any MAJOR dramas in the lead-up and the day itself was amazing, but I did find actually planning our wedding (rather than just fantasizing our wedding) was not exactly fun. It was so emotional, expensive, and there was so many details and conflicting interests to take into account - I found it draining.
I am so happy just being married and reminiscing about how wonderful the day was while knowing that I never have to organise or pay for another wedding related item or service again! Now I'm happily just admiring other people's plans and big days again. And I can't wait for my friends to get married so I can help them!

For those who are a bit blue (but not depressed) try to focus on the good times ahead - travel, houses, children, career opportunities, day-to-day life with your sweetie, whatever is on the cards for you. For those who are depressed, think about these but most importantly please get a referral to see a psychologist (medicare will most likely cover at least six visits).
 
kyliemartin79
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Re: Post wedding depression

Thu Jun 03, 2010 12:11 pm

mrsko wrote:
I don't know how many of you ladies suffered from this but I'm interested to know how many didn't? (Sorry I mean to hijack this thread) I may be in the minority who didn't get post wedding depression mainly because I had some dramas with my parents so after the wedding I had post wedding happiness because it was finally over!

I am like you Mrs Ko, no post wedding depression.
I did have the wedding of my dreams and would not have changed a thing but I was still very happy to have it over with at the end of the day, other then I am very inpatient for my pro photos!
My Dh and I had been together for 12 years before we got engaged but I had never once thought about or planned a wedding, I was never really interested in getting married at all. I would have been quite happy to just live together, but when he surprised me on Noosa beach with a ring :oops: I started to plan a wedding and I did really enjoy the process. Although I was told through the entire planning stage and on the day by our photographer, celebrant, car driver, MUA and florist that I was the most relaxed bride that they had come across. My Bm's both said they wished they had of seen my inner bridezilla, but I guess I just didnt have any...

I still love looking at wedding blogs now, and my Dh is like its over Kylie why are you still looking? But I have no depression or sadness to have to go back to meeting all of those suppliers again. I guess until we get our wedding album back, I will have to be content looking at other peoples weddings, but once we do get professional photos - at least then I can look at these instead.
 
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jesskins
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Re: Post wedding depression

Thu Jun 03, 2010 10:36 pm

I didn't get any post wedding depression - just a bit of boredom, really! When you spend so much time planning something, once it's over you're left wondering what to do with all the spare time you find yourself with! It's hard, and everyone handles it differently. It's great that we do have people here who can support each other if they are finding it a bit harder :)
 
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MerryMe
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Re: Post wedding depression

Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:18 am

I didn't get PWD... my wedding day was not perfect, but it was beautiful and everything came into place.
Although the only things that I had on my mind was I wish I could turn back time to improve things, etc.. but that's just a very silly thought of me!

At the moment, I just feel soooo happy to be married to DH. Everytime I think about being married to DH, it just makes me smile. Maybe I am still on honeymoon period? Although my real honeymoon is less than 4 months from now, so I'm really looking forward to that :D
 
r&j_9
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Re: Post wedding depression

Wed Jun 23, 2010 1:52 pm

i think i felt much the same Jess.. it was more about the boredom after the wedding that had me feeling a little lost and out of place.. since coming back from our honeymoon i've filled my time in with selling our house.. in process of builing another.. then hopefully a bub after that.. i doubt there'd be time to feel bored with children.
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