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DH and Family and Work

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 3:35 pm
by bride2be09
So i guess marriage some days is harder then others. I know everyone has their up and downs, and it definitely isnt easy if you suffer from serious pms like i do each month :?

Anyways, DH has been working for my family for a few years now. Its a family owned business and i guess its true when they say you shouldnt mix family and business together. Might work for some but it seems pretty hard from where im sitting. Anyways i know when dh has problems at work and he comes home and tells me about it i always tend to take my familys side, because i know dh has a short temper and the smallest things can set him off, he speaks his mind and usually doesnt hold back from speaking the truth. Sometimes i feel if dh wasnt working for my family he would have alot more respect for his boss's and do as hes told with minumal b!tching. My dad is the boss and sometimes i can tell he gets pretty frustrated at dh behaviors but for my sake they dont fire him. Im more then 110% certin that if he spoke or acted in the way he does know to a boss which wasnt a family memeber hes would have been without a job a long time ago. He thinks their not been fair on him and making him and a few other guys work harder then the rest. He just called me fuming because another family member of mine whos also a boss just got frustrated with DH and DH gave him attitude and it went sour. Anyways Dh called me saying he is going to call my dad and tell him that today is hes last day and that hes going to take 2 weeks paid holiday. 8O

Ummm....ok, i think if it wasnt family he wouldnt dare say anything like that and i feel like im torn between family and husband, I know sometimes what they make him do is too much and sometimes what he does is not good at all. They both have their wrongs and rights but at the end of the starting to get extremely stressed out, we're constantly fighting because DH has no respect for his boss's and we're trying to save for a house and a baby... and jobs out there are so hard to hold on to expecially if you have a personality like DH, he has a personality which clashes with others and sometimes hes great and sometimes i just wanna smack him in the mouth 8O

What the hell am i suppose to do...

Re: DH and Family and Work

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 5:07 pm
by christabelle
very tough situation.

If you want your DH to act like he would in a normal workplace where he wasn't related to his employer, then I think you should take the same approach and not get involved with this. It's between your DH and his boss (irrespective of whether that's your dad or whoever). You don't want to jeapordise your relationship with your DH or your family, so I wouldn't get involved or maybe it is reaching the point where he needs to find work elsewhere and discover what behaviour in the workplace is and isn't acceptable on his own?

Re: DH and Family and Work

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 7:45 pm
by nic0985
I think christabelle makes a good point. You dont want to damage either relationship, so it may be best to remain silent and not do anything at all... Patch things up with your hubs, and explain that you are caught between a rock and a hard place.

And, please dont be offended by this, because i dont mean it in a rude way, but he may need to consider formally learning anger management. I say that because marriages require a fair amount of conflict resolution, and honestly how will you be able to discuss problems and concerns with him throughout your married life knowing how unpredictable his temper can be? ive been there myself, and it isnt fair on you. Volatile personalities like what youve described can be tough, but it doesnt have to be.

Hope i havent overstepped here.. Good luck mate.