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KateM
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Thu Aug 09, 2012 11:55 am

What you outlined is essentially how Dh and I did it when we first moved out, except the offset was merely a joint account as we didn't have a mortgage at that stage. It worked well.

We clarified what bills were paid from the joint account, and what we were responsible for ourselves. It was also set up as a direct debit to ensure the payments went in as agreed.
 
gdemon
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:17 pm

We're the same - separate his/hers accounts into which our salaries go, and then we transfer most of it each payday to a joint expenses account and a joint savings account, and just keep enough for 'play money' + fuel in our individual accounts. When we get a home loan, the two joint accounts will be folded into one offset account too.

Sorry I have no suggestions for you, Agape... We both think it is absolutely essential that we maintain our own accounts for privacy and can't imagine doing it any other way.

That said... I have friends who have no personal accounts, all they pay goes into one shared account and they have one shared car loan. They say it's great for accountability and saving money as it really cuts down on non-essential spending, but they met in high school and moved in together before they were 20. I think in many ways it was a lot easier for them since they had grown up together. DH and I met later in life and are both too used to being independent that we'd find that level of sharing too painful.
 
pookie2014
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:29 pm

FH and I have our own seperate accounts where we each get paid.
We have a joint account where we transfer a certain amount of money into each payday. All bills and expenses come out of this.
We keep some spare cash in our own accounts for other things we wish to purchase or little presents for each other etc. We dont have access to each others personal accounts.
We then have joint credit card and joint savings accounts.
It works well for us. We budget together and pool our money together, we don't split things 50/50 or proportional on our wages.
 
gdemon
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:59 pm

Oh, this is possibly the wackiest method I'd ever come across. A guy I used to date was an only child with both parents working full-time. Apparently mother paid for all the child's expenses (school, clothing, medicals), and father paid for all of mother's expenses. Not sure who paid the mortgage and groceries!
 
KateM
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Thu Aug 09, 2012 6:26 pm

gdemon wrote:
That said... I have friends who have no personal accounts, all they pay goes into one shared account and they have one shared car loan. They say it's great for accountability and saving money as it really cuts down on non-essential spending, but they met in high school and moved in together before they were 20. I think in many ways it was a lot easier for them since they had grown up together. DH and I met later in life and are both too used to being independent that we'd find that level of sharing too painful.


You'd be suprised. DH and I have only joint accounts now, but I still ahve no idea what or how much money he spends. I supposed I could work it out, but I don't. I think if our finances were tighter or if one of us was more spendthrift it could be difficult.
 
pinkperfection
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:45 pm

We have a joint account that we each have a set amount go into - the same amount from each of us, this covers mortgage, insurances, bills, food shopping and then the rest of our salaries go into our own personal accounts. he doesn't have to pay petrol or phone as his work pays it so I pay mine out of my account. No idea what we will do when we have kids. Probably mostly into joint and some into separate.
 
hbm
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Thu Aug 09, 2012 10:32 pm

We have a joint account that both our pays goes into, and we also have a joint offset account that we use to save for things like holidays, Christmas, wedding etc. I've done a household budget so we both know how much of our salary needs to stay in the account to cover the mortgage, bills and groceries. The rest is our discretionary spending.

Personally, I don't believe there should be privacy when it comes to spending money. Transparency works for us - in saying that, neither FH nor I feel the need to check up on each others spending habits. If we are shopping & I see nice shoes, I just buy them - same goes for FH, if he wants new clothes, he just buys them too. There is no "mine" and "yours" - its all "ours".

I have a good friend who had separate bank accounts from her husband and she recently found out he had a stack of secret credit cards and unpaid tax bills. She was totally devastated when she found out, and was really hurt that her husband had been hiding the debt from her. She ended up setting up payment plans to get out of debt and they were close to having to sell their house. Thankfully, they got through this rough period, but it very nearly broke their marraige up as she felt like she no longer knew the man she married.
 
pookie2014
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Fri Aug 10, 2012 9:50 am

hbm wrote:
Personally, I don't believe there should be privacy when it comes to spending money. Transparency works for us - in saying that, neither FH nor I feel the need to check up on each others spending habits. If we are shopping & I see nice shoes, I just buy them - same goes for FH, if he wants new clothes, he just buys them too. There is no "mine" and "yours" - its all "ours".


We believe in the "ours" concept too... There is no point having "mine" and "yours" when you share a life togehter. I think it would cause complications and possibly arguements, for us anyway. Having said that, we do have our own joint accounts, but there is never much play money in there, unless we are saving for birthday presents for each other or something like that. Open and honest works well.

hbm wrote:
I have a good friend who had separate bank accounts from her husband and she recently found out he had a stack of secret credit cards and unpaid tax bills. She was totally devastated when she found out, and was really hurt that her husband had been hiding the debt from her. She ended up setting up payment plans to get out of debt and they were close to having to sell their house. Thankfully, they got through this rough period, but it very nearly broke their marraige up as she felt like she no longer knew the man she married.


That is scary! I'm glad they sorted it out though. :)
 
gdemon
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Fri Aug 10, 2012 1:13 pm

Agape wrote:
Thanks so much for all of your replies .... I think you ladies have enlightened me to an issue we might have

I was in a 'full-on' relationship very early in life. By 20 I had a mortgage and was pregnant with my first child, therefore I am so used to sharing money; and very little 'secrecy' when it comes to money ...
FH is now 31 and this is his first 'full-on' relationship, until now he has lived at home. He is struggling with the concept of joint accounts, and really wants a 'play money' account where he can keep $2000 just in case he wants a new toy. He also wants he personal account to have a float of $1000. He is struggling with the concept of everything being opened. In saying this he has major issues with privacy in general, as a teenager / adult living at home his parents went thru everything of his (ie. opened his mail and read bank statements, letters and phone bills)

If you add this all up this would mean that we would have $6K ($3k for each of us) just sitting in 'play accounts' ... that $6K could be sitting against one of our mortgages (we have 4) at present.
He has came around to agreeing that we need to pool of money, which I am happy about ... Now I just need to get my head around his idea of 'play money' as opposed to mine - I have only ever given myself $150 play money per week. The whole float things seems excessive to me.


Agape, I understand how you feel and can really see both sides.

DH was very uncomfortable with the idea of a joint account and joint budget when we first moved in together. He was 28 - had been on his own since 18 and never had a live-in relationship before. We only put just enough money in our joint account to cover rent and groceries for the first year. It took another 1.5 years of discussion and marriage to get to the point where our joint expense and savings account now hold 90% of all our monies. (I really had to ease him into it slowly.)

I think i'd feel too that $3k in play money and float for each person is too much - especially as you say when it could be sitting in an offset account and saving you more money - but I am fully in favour of a $1-1.5K float in each of our personal accounts. Reasons are:

- I feel that DH is too reliant on me to manage our money, and he needs to learn to save independently and budget his own pool of money.
- We think that that bit of independence and privacy is good for us, just lets us splurge every now and then without feeling guilty about affecting our joint money (and also, buy presents for each other!!)
- DH doesn't have a credit card and doesn't have an ATM card to our joint account (his choice). So he really needs to have a decent fund in his account in case of emergencies.
- Agape, you've also hit on something that made me feel so strongly about this: I grew up with my mum having access to my account and regularly taking money out whenever she needed, which made it impossible for me to save any money at all. It's very important to me now to feel in control of 'our' money as well as 'my' money.

BUT - this float comes from our individual play money, not from joint savings, if you spend it, it doesn't get replenished from the joint account. We also have an unspoken understanding to inform each other prior to personal purchases over, say, $200. And if one of us wanted to buy a really expensive toy/gadget, then (A) if the purchase only benefits one person, that person saves and pays for it out of their play money, but (B) if the purchase benefits both of us, we could both chip in for it from both personal accounts (if it's a luxury), or pay for it from our shared savings (if it is a justified household purchase, like a TV). I'm the one more inclined to buy expensive toys in our relationship, to be honest - but I bought an iPad last year and new laptop this year with DH's agreement and only using personal savings (some of which came from working a second casual job), without short-changing our agreed contributions to joint accounts. I think that's fair.

Whether or not you have completely joint or completely separate accounts it's still possible for a really deceitful partner to apply for secret credit cards and hide massive spendings/debt. We're 90% joint as it is, but honestly, I could still get a new credit card and rack up a $10k debt and DH wouldn't know a thing. We share the same financial goals, we both pull our weight working towards it, and we discuss our joint and individual money honestly - it works for us and we're happy with it.
 
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Mon Aug 13, 2012 8:16 pm

Agape wrote:
Thanks so much for all of your replies .... I think you ladies have enlightened me to an issue we might have

I was in a 'full-on' relationship very early in life. By 20 I had a mortgage and was pregnant with my first child, therefore I am so used to sharing money; and very little 'secrecy' when it comes to money ...
FH is now 31 and this is his first 'full-on' relationship, until now he has lived at home. He is struggling with the concept of joint accounts, and really wants a 'play money' account where he can keep $2000 just in case he wants a new toy. He also wants he personal account to have a float of $1000. He is struggling with the concept of everything being opened. In saying this he has major issues with privacy in general, as a teenager / adult living at home his parents went thru everything of his (ie. opened his mail and read bank statements, letters and phone bills)

If you add this all up this would mean that we would have $6K ($3k for each of us) just sitting in 'play accounts' ... that $6K could be sitting against one of our mortgages (we have 4) at present.
He has came around to agreeing that we need to pool of money, which I am happy about ... Now I just need to get my head around his idea of 'play money' as opposed to mine - I have only ever given myself $150 play money per week. The whole float things seems excessive to me.


We were in this boat too so this is what we have come up with. Our joint acount (also our offset account) has 9 sub accounts under it. We have allocated 3 accounts each, 3 for him, 3 for me, 3 for joint. So while technically I can access his money as it's a joint account we have a strict policy between us of that only we can touch what account is ours. That way both our personal and joint savings and spendings account all offsets again the mortgage. You can't access these sub accounts with a card, but it's easy with internet banking on your phone to transfer money to another account to spend it anyway. HTH
 
Digitalista
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Mon Aug 13, 2012 8:46 pm

I was thinking today about how we would work things. We are only just moving in together now. We have joint savings which we are saving for our house and a joint everyday linked account. Other than that up until now we have just helped each other out if we needed it and combined for larger things i.e holidays , white goods.

FH wants to have own accounts for play money ie not having to ask. I think we might stick with that until we have a mortgage and it would benefit us to have our income put into an offset account.
 
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:58 pm

It's full on transparency here. DH is used to running a very tight budget and uses an budgeting/tracking program (called quicken if anyone's interested) because of his debt structure. Makes for some creative accounting for surprises though.

So when we moved in together we got a joint account that rent (now mortgage) and groceries, bills etc come out from. We each have our own accounts that our pay goes into, then we transfer in the money to cover the mortgage, bills etc.

Everything gets budgeted for, we get allocated $50 a week each 'play' money. For one off emergency expenses we have a joint credit card.
 
Tracylacy
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Tue Aug 14, 2012 8:52 pm

DH and I have been together for 8 years and still the only joint account that we have is the mortgage. We are very aware of how much money each of us have though and we have an equal view of how money is saved and spent. Essentially our money is pooled together, in that we equally share expenses and it's usually whoever has cash on hand that pays for something when we are out etc. We pretty much pay for things equally and there have been times when we have been on holiday for example that we pool all of the spending money into one account for easier access.

We have recently begun talking about changing the way that we pool our money, to move towards joint accounts - DH has recently started a new job, where he is earning nearly double me and has begun paying a lot more out of his account than me. We are also starting to seriously think about children and we have always assumed that this would probably lead us to joint accounts due to the fact that I plan on taking time off and am more likely to be on a reduced income for at least a little while.

Separate accounts has worked for us all this time though!

There are some great ideas that have been posted and it is always interesting to me to see the way that other people do things, as it is nice to get a fresh perspective.
 
gdemon
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:33 pm

Coincidentally there was a blog about couple (un)sharing finances in the Sydney Morning Herald yesterday: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/blogs/citykat/sharing-is-caring--but-what-about-the-finances-20120814-246sd.html

There are some interesting ideas in the comments!
 
Miss_ngu
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:40 pm

FH was very uncomfortable with the idea having a joint account. However, since we lived together for over 2 years, our finance needs to share so things gradually changed.

My FH and I each have our own account (old way), and joint credit cards (Amex and Visa card to earn Frequent Flyer Points --> earning a far bit actually, each year we accumulate enough ponint for one returned overseas ticket) which we use for almost daily expense. We have agreement, he will take care of the rent and car loan, I will pay my mortgage and all the utility bills. As soon as we get paid, we leave the balance to cover mortgage and rent, what ever we have left we will use it to pay the credit card, and pay off the car loan & mortgage earlier. We have the surplus in these loan, so if we need to use for urgent things we can withdraw anytime.
 
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Re: How do you run your budget / finances?

Mon Oct 01, 2012 1:44 pm

I know this post is a bit old now, but I just thought I'd share what my FH and I do. We each have our own bank accounts which our wages go into. From there part of his wage goes into a bank account for our mortgage, and part of my wage is seperated between 4 other bank accounts - Savings, Bills, Food and Fuel - a set amount goes into each of these accounts each time I get paid (that way we know how much we have in the budget for each thing!) I also have a car loan that I had before our relationship, and that repayment comes out of my account. FH doesn't have his own car, but helps out with the insurance/rego etc. And whever is left over from those payments in our own bank accounts is ours to do what we please with. 8)

At this point in time the money in our savings is going towards our wedding and honeymoon, but once that's all over we'll be saving together for doing up our garden (we've just moved into a brand new house), a 2013 Christmas holiday and anything else that tickles our fancy. :D
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